My boyfriend and I are currently on a break because I lied about my past. I felt so guilty and wrong that I eventually told him the truth after I built up the courage to do so. I knew that telling him would hurt his feelings, so I kept putting it off, until I felt I couldn’t keep it to myself any more.
He, quite rightly, feels hurt and doesn’t know if he can trust me, as he has been entirely honest with me about his past — a very difficult thing to do.
However, I believe that as our relationship was so strong before, we are still the same people, and the lie could eventually be forgiven, as it was said out of insecurity and fear, with no intention of causing harm.
We have always been a couple that gives each other lots of gifts on special occasions, birthdays, valentine’s days, anniversary, or just because we felt like giving something to them.
I love him so much. The lie is my biggest regret, as I have caused him pain, I hate myself for it.
We have agreed to meet up at the end of the two-week break to discuss whether or not we should continue with our relationship. I want to give him a gift to symbolise my regret and apology. I know that material gifts in no way justify forgiveness. I have apologised profusely, so even if he doesn’t want to stay together, I just want him to have it as a way of showing my regret.
I don’t mean this maliciously, nor am I trying to manipulate him into being with me again. I just want him to see how truly sorry I am.
If he doesn’t want to be with me anymore, though it will pain me, of course I will allow him to move on.