Boyfriend lied about taking drugs

My boyfriend and I have been going out for 7 years. I never had an issue with him doing drugs and we have done them together on a couple of occasions. (Not hard drugs) I recently found out that he had been taking them regularly on nights out and not telling me about it. It broke my heart that he never told me about it. He initially responded in a ‘what’s the big deal’ but when he saw how upset I was he apologised. I don’t know if there are other things he’s been lying about and I feel our trust is completely broken. Am I overreacting?

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5 thoughts on “Boyfriend lied about taking drugs

  1. Dennis Hong says:

    [I don’t necessarily think you’re overreacting, but that also depends on the level of trust and communication that you have with each other. Is there a reason your boyfriend felt compelled to hide his drug use from you? If you’ve done it together before, I’m guessing drug use itself isn’t a big deal for you.

    As such, I think maybe what you need to talk about is the fact that he hid it from you. Before you stop trusting your boyfriend altogether, ask him — nicely and without accusation — why he felt it necessary to hide this from you. Hopefully, his answer will give you a sense of where your trust is at this point.

    Maybe he had a legitimate reason. Maybe it was a simple oversight. Maybe he had a stupid reason, but in his mind, it’s legitimate. Point being, I don’t think you should feel like your trust is *completely* broken… yet. But that’s why you need to talk about this with him.

  2. resullins says:

    [I agree with Dennis. It’s not necessarily a big deal, and you “may” be blowing it out of proportion. But there may be an underlying reason he’s lying. If there’s a bigger reason, then you may have a problem.

    If he’s just smoking pot with his buddies, that’s different. I don’t tell my husband every single time I have a beer when I’m out. It’s not that I’m hiding anything, it’s just, well, there. And there are a lot of people that truly believe that mild drugs are no more harmful than a beer, and thus think of them on the same level.

    Just ask, talk to him. But for now, give the man the benefit of the doubt. He’s an adult, making adult decisions about his body. You need to give him that freedom.

    • Dan says:

      [It doesn’t appear to be a big deal but the fact he never mentioned it when it’s something you both do makes me wonder why it was not mentioned. This seems like an issue you can talk through. Don’t get too upset until its worth it!!

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