I don’t look good, while my gf really does .. how can i deal with that ?

well .. i have such a weird situation, and i feel shy to speak about it to my friends, so that’s why i decided to ask here , to hide my identity .. i got lately ( 3 months ago ) into a relationship, and the gril leaves far away, but we’ll meet , cuz she usually comes to my country for her holidays, that’s awesome .. only one problem here, the girl is so so so pretty and hot, like i have to admit she’s too far away from my league, while i’m black , i mean i don’t feel ashamed of being black, i’m not ugly, i’m just normal dude, the girl is so so so pretty .. i’m so worried that she dislikes me in real life, in all pics that we share she says i’m brown , but in fact i’m not like totally dark skinned but more likely dark brown, i speak alot about difference in skin colors cuz i have suffered that alot .. to be honest i have an equilbrated body, almost no fat and healthy and tall, i mean i’m not the worst .. the girl said that i’m brown but she really loves that skin , i mean that made me feel so good, but i’m afraid that she said that just to make me feel good, in the other hand she always tell me i’m handsome, while i know myself i’m not .. so that’s why as she over reacted about my look, it may also does the same with my skin, i’m afraid, and so nervous ..

2 thoughts on “I don’t look good, while my gf really does .. how can i deal with that ?

  1. EricaSwagger says:

    [If she’s telling you she likes the way you look, believe her. I don’t typically tell guys that unless it’s true. And if she spends time with you and seems to like you, you should just pull back and relax, go with it.

    If it makes you feel better, there have been several studies conducted about attractiveness in relationships and the ones that work out in the highest percentage are those where the woman is more attractive than the man. Keeping in mind the term “attractive” is usually subjective, yes, but also that there are ways to quantify attractiveness (facial symmetry, for example).

  2. Dennis Hong says:

    [Pretty much what Erica said. But also, assuming that she herself isn’t “brown” or “black,” then she might really have no idea that there’s a difference there. I can tell that the difference means something to you, and her misuse of the label is affecting your self-confidence. At the same time, you sound like an attractive guy, so I don’t see any reason to feel insecure about this.

    If you think it will help, be open with her and explain that there’s a difference between “black” and “brown,” and that you prefer that she refer to you with the right label. But don’t do broach this topic in an accusatory way, and make sure you frame this as this being how you feel, rather than her doing something wrong. So, for instance, you say something like, “when you call me ‘brown,’ it makes me feel like you’re ashamed of me being ‘black,'” and NOT something like, “you’re ashamed of me being ‘black’ because you call me ‘brown’ all the time.” Notice that in the first one, you’re telling her how you feel, while in the second one, you’re accusing her of doing something malicious.

    So yeah, clarify this with her if you think it will make you feel better. Just be tactful about it, and I think you’ll be able to clear up what I believe to be a big misunderstanding at this point.

    Good luck.

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