My Prom Disaster

So, this guy I really like, asked me to prom. He’s a junior and I’m a sophomore. It’s a Junior and Senior prom. After he asked me, I asked if I could get back to him. He said that’s okay and that he hopes I say yes. I couldn’t bring myself to reject him so I told him yes. I do want to go with him. I don’t care for prom itself but he asked me and I know how shy he is. So, I really appreciate him womaning up. My problem is my mother is a traditionalist and doesn’t believe that I should attend Prom in my sophomore year and she thinks that boys are a sin. She doesn’t want me to go. I see now at this moment that I should have just said no because I know my mum. My sister and cousin have come up with a plan but the sister my mother trusts the most doesn’t want to participate. She said she won’t say anything but she won’t help us. I have to tell him no. He is the sweetest guy and his mom is so nice. She asked a lot of questions about me and she asked what color etc. I really really really need help. I don’t know what to do. The thought of me telling him no is killing me but the thought of my mother getting angry with me or upset or anything else….I hate that. I can’t do it. I want to go. I want to spend an amazing night with him. I want to also have my mothers blessing. I need a good way to tell him no after I told him yes or I need a way to convince my mum. Or maybe even make him not want to go with me….even that would be better. I like him a lot but I’d rather sacrifice my own feelings than their feelings. I wouldn’t be able to take it. The guilt would drive me insane. Please, help me. (:

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5 thoughts on “My Prom Disaster

  1. Dennis Hong says:

    [Well, I don’t think there’s any way some random stranger on the internet will be able to convince your mom to let you go, so here’s an alternate suggestion:

    What if you just be open with your mom and explain both sides of the story? Tell her exactly what you told us. I think it’s a pretty legitimate dilemma that you’re facing, and maybe if you involve your mom in the decision-making process, she’ll either 2) be able to see your point of view and give you her blessing to go, or 2) help you come up with a way to say no to the boy.

    I think the issue is that you’re seeing this as a you-versus-her situation, where you and her are at odds with each other (i.e., you want to go, she doesn’t want you to go). And while you are at the moment, if you find a way to shift the situation in such a way where you and her are working together towards a common goal (i.e., find a way to turn him down without hurting his feelings, or come to an understanding that this boy isn’t necessarily bad), maybe she’ll be able to see your side and be able — and willing — to help.

    Conversely, you could also tell the boy (and his mom) exactly what you told us: your mom is a traditionalist and won’t let you go. I mean, come on, that’s a pretty valid reason for not being able to go, and while he (and his mom) might be disappointed, they’d have to understand, yeah?

    Either way, if your main concerns are that you don’t want to upset your mom, but also won’t want to let the boy down… well, I think both of those can be addressed if you’re just open and honest with all parties involved here.

    Good luck.

  2. resullins says:

    [Yeah… unless your mom is Piper Laurie, it may be possible to have a conversation with her. (Just so you don’t have to go searching, that’s the woman that played Carrie’s mom in the 1976 version of Carrie).

    Sit her down. Tell her you like this boy, you don’t want to hurt his feelings, and you’d really like to go. Set out some compromises on things like when you’ll be back. That you’ll call her from dinner. Hell, tell her you’ll set up one of those GPS things on your phone so that she knows you’re not sneaking off to the Holiday Inn for some Peach Schnapps and fornication.

    Lots of people go to prom outside of their Junior and Senior year. My mom went to 4 proms.

    I would try talking to your mom honestly and openly. Don’t get all teenager-y on her. Don’t go all dramatic. The more adult you act, the more adult she’ll see you, and the better your chances of getting what you want. Lay out the facts calmly, and present all sides.

    Then, if that doesn’t work… talk to the boy and his mom. But try your mom first… that route has the fewest casualties.

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