I found a conversation w/ bf and his daughters friend (minor)

I came across a texting conversation btwn my bf and his daughters friends sister (Minor child). The conversation was innocent and he wasn’t hiding it whatsoever, but he initiated the texting using a popular messanger app. He thinks I am going over board, im demanding he seek professional help. I would have a problem with an adult male messaging my child, he doesn’t see the issue. I do not want to ask friends or relatives For advice.

6 thoughts on “I found a conversation w/ bf and his daughters friend (minor)

  1. Joyce says:

    [Can you please provide more information? What type of conversation was it? What were they discussing?

  2. Dennis Hong says:

    [Yeah, some context would help here. I think there absolutely are legitimate reasons an adult male might want or need to message a child who’s not his daughter.

  3. Idioglossia says:

    [If this is strictly an adult male texting a minor… I’m like the rest on this one and would need some context.

    My kid’s friends are all friended to me on Facebook, when I see something one of them might think is cool (I have to hang around these little people from time to time, you tend to get to know them), I have no problem whatsoever talking just to them. They message me, I message them. They mostly talk to my kid. I’m friends with their parents, their parents read their stuff like I read mine and we message one another.

    I don’t know if you have children, maybe you’ve have the same experience, but I learned really quickly that my kid tends to listen to the advice of others more than they listen to me. It’s the quiet rebellion that comes with the growth towards independence. Think about the last time, if ever, you said “Gosh, you’re right, mom/dad! I will so listen to you!” I never did. Not once.

    It sucks but you get smart, you befriend the friends and the friend’s parents, you encase your child in adults you trust from friends, family and the family of their friends. If the kid goes to another adult to ask for advice, we already have the groundwork laid for good sources, and/or sussed out those who are questionable and limit contact.

    • Dennis Hong says:

      [Yeah, I do find it interesting that kids will often listen to adults who are not their parents more than their parents.

      Maybe they just get desensitized to their parents’ voices and learn to shut them out? 🙂

    • Idioglossia says:

      [Definitely. I think we are just programmed to NEED to do things on our own and start walking our own path very very early (too early). I still think parents get through… you jam a square peg in a round hole long enough and with steady enough pressure, by dangit some day it will go in! 🙂

      But for example, one of my kid’s friend is a boy and he likes to do “girly” activities. I’m one of the few adults in his life who has ever told him that was perfectly fine.

      His mom chilled out about because I didn’t think it was a big deal. He also has an absent dad, his mom has the support of both of her parents. I have an absent dad. So, I just make a more qualified source to discuss his feelings about that and I’m glad I can be there for him if he needs me.

    • Dennis Hong says:

      [> jam a square peg in a round hole long enough and with steady enough pressure….

      Sure, and if that fails, a hammer helps. :-p

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