I have been in a relationship with a wonderful man for about five years. He treats me well, he is kind and loving to my family, and he works very hard to make sure his family is taken care of.
Here’s the thing: we’ve been long distance for 5 years. We have had rough patches but always found a way to make this work. Some insecurities exist in our relationship because he is 28, and graduating with a bachelors in science this spring (never had held a full time job while I at 24, have held a full time job for 2 years), and knows that I want to travel the world. But he says he cannot, that he owes himself and his mother and grandfather the best care. I respect this. I admire it and love him deeper for it. But it kills me on the inside- my biggest dreams in life have been to see and help people around the world before I settle down.
He reacts so negatively when I, in a light mood, talk about every dream place or duty I have for myself- like, he gets uncontrollable nervous and upset- because, I know, we both feel on the inside that I am waiting for him to have that financial security, and maybe his obligations will never allow him to do that, in a time frame of the next 3-4 years like I hope.
What do you think? Is it time for me to do what I need to do? I feel incredibly selfish, but my heart needs to setyle this before I am married (and I think he’s planning on proposing when he does get that full time job).