Why does he do this to me?

Basically ive been with my boyfriend a week short of a year and suddenly he just ignores me all the time. Hes never been the type of person to go out and see his mates but suddenly he has been going out every night and then im getting very short replies but as soon as i see him he seems normal as hell.
when i saw him this just gone weekend he asked me to have space for a while but he promises to get back with me. I agreed thinking space could be a good thing cause itll make him realise what he has with me.
my boyfriend suffers from autism and he doesnt always understand emotions. His best girl-mate recently split from her boyfriend and theyve been seeing each other a lot cause hes been supporting her and she spent the night at his and he says they cuddled (he does have a tiny bed) but he doesnt understand the mixed messages this can send to this girl and hes seeing her a lot and i trust him to the earth.
it just panics me when hes barely speaking to me, asking for space and seeing a girl he previously had a crush on.
Am i being pathetic?
I just cant loose him.
If you decide to take space from a relationship does that mean you need to stay faithful?
I said it does but he disagreed which worries me that hes asking for space to go off with this girl then come back when hes done.
Shes exactly his type because shes very ’emo’ and im not?
I just dont know what to do

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4 thoughts on “Why does he do this to me?

  1. Dennis Hong says:

    [I’ll be blunt. This:

    “I just cant loose him.”

    Does make you sound kind of pathetic. If you’re ever at a point where you feel like you can’t lose someone, then that’s a worrisome position to be in.

    And then there’s this:

    “If you decide to take space from a relationship does that mean you need to stay faithful? I said it does but he disagreed….”

    So, just to clarify, he’s saying that he believes if you “take space” from a relationship (ah, the classic “we were on a break” argument), then it’s okay to sleep with other people?

    If so, then you’d better damned well ask for clarification if he’s “taking space” from your relationship right now. Because that will make his feelings pretty glaringly obvious, autism or not.

  2. Missy says:

    [hi there. from what you’ve written here, it seems pretty clear that he’s looking for an out. and not just an out, but an easy way out – like he’s fading on you rather than being direct about what’s going on.

    if you broke all contact with him do you think he’d reach out to you? that would be a quick and easy way to see what his true intentions/feelings are.

    feeling like you can’t lose someone is not indicative of a healthy relationship. i know this very well, as i lived in that dynamic for many, many years. i wish i had any easy answer for how to break that feeling, but i don’t. for me, it took time. a lot of time spent growing and gaining confidence and realizing that i was worth so much more than what i was settling for.

    good luck to you, and let us know how it goes.

  3. Dan says:

    [I want to backup what Dennis and Missy have said, they’re right on. Also, I need to reiterate the point about your “I can’t loose him” comment. Nothing could be further from the truth! You probably feel anxiety at the thought of separation but from what you’ve told us you will be doing much better by next week if you leave now. Finally, after a year you should expect a boyfriend that doesn’t cuddle with past crushes to say the least.

  4. kerplunkLYN says:

    [Well, when your boyfriend asks for “space” and then uses that space to bring a former crush into his bed and cuddle her as she recovers from a break up … I think it’s his way of showing you the relationship is over even if he can’t bring himself to outright tell you. I feel sad that you feel like you can’t lose him, but losing a man who would treat you so disrespectfully is probably for the best.

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