Desperate need of advice

So I’ve had this thing with a guy for 2 years now and We would be dating but he lives 40 minutes from me and we got this huge argument about where we stand and what we’re doing and I asked him if he likes someone else and he said “Kinda:/ like it’s nothing like ours is, but I just see her a lot more, but sometimes that’s the difference 😦 ” I dont know what to do, I want to let this fling go but I can’t convince myself to. Please help

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4 thoughts on “Desperate need of advice

    • Dennis Hong says:

      [I kinda disagree. This seems as clear to me an answer as any:

      “Kinda:/ like it’s nothing like ours is, but I just see her a lot more, but sometimes that’s the difference 😦 ”

      To the blurb poster: I don’t know that there’s any magical formula to just forget about a two-year-long crush. If you *want* to get over it, though, then you will. It will take time, but you will.

      It just doesn’t sound like you really want to get over it right now.

  1. Matt Sanchelli says:

    [This sort of situation definitely stinks so I’m sorry you have to go through this.

    You obviously are willing to still put forth the effort to keep your “fling” going. This being 40 minutes apart is obviously becoming nuisance for him. I’m sure some of us here can relate on one level or another that sometime convenience plays a BIG role in how a relationship develops or maintains.

    Depending on how busy his schedule/life is he may very well be conceding to the convenience of someone nearby despite the level things may be with you. While you have time and longevity on your side, being 40 minutes apart means you two are missing out on a lot of the things couples/flings benefit from in regards to proximity; spontaneous dates/getting together is likely the primary thing here.

    Have you been dating/seeing any other people during this time frame? Would you be open to trying to meet/date/fling with others…perhaps in your town?

    I think that’s going to be the best way to get over him and try to move on. Get out there and just meet new people. It doesn’t even need to immediately be for some sort of romantic connection, but just to distract you.

  2. EricaSwagger says:

    [I don’t want to be harsh but you have to just move on. It’s been two years and he’s seeing someone else and doesn’t seem to want to work harder to make a relationship work with you. That is all the information you need to move on. If someone really wants to be with you they tend to make an effort and (hopefully) not see other people on the side.

    Tell him you’re tired of not seeing each other regularly and you will not compete for his affection with girls that are closer to home for him. You and your time are worth more than that. Then tell him it was nice to have the time you did spend together, and that you’ll always be there as a friend if he needs you. Then delete his number for a while (you can write it down somewhere and hide it but really delete it, it helps so much) and hide his social media posts. You need space to be able to move on, force yourself to take that space and you’ll be okay.

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