Just wondering … do any of you ever feel like you are so busy you can’t see straight, and yet most of your lives are spent on everything for everyone else … you find yourself not even remembering WHAT in life ever got you excited at all? I’ve been stuck here for years. I fill my time with eating (what new taste or new wine can I discover next?). I used to fill my time with dating and dinners or brunches; but my income has gone down since I took a government job, AND I have a toddler now … so time and spending money have gone out the window.
I’m a single mom who is lucky to have a flexible schedule, a roof over my head and halfway decent money, but I don’t do ANYTHING with my life beyond being her mom (and I LOVE that J.O.B. – don’t get my wrong). I pay bills, eat and eat some more. I work. I love to sleep a lot when she is down for her naps. It just doesn’t seem like life has a purpose though.
But … I tell myself that I am in my 40s (feeling really old already), and that this is probably to be expected. I am depressed and deal with anxiety a lot. I just feel so unfulfilled in my ho-hum relationship. I have much of what I need (at least as far as society says so). I fancy myself a writer, but I mostly just string together good sounding sentences for the government.
So, I ask you … is there MORE to life than just existing and staying afloat? Have any of you been there and come through that and found a better way to live your lives? I used to find that spark in life through running (for 20 years!). But I injured myself. I also retired from the military. I miss my life as it was. I used to do more, go more places, and just BE MORE. Now I feel like I’m no one doing nothing that anyone will ever remember once I’m done and gone.
ANY ADVICE would be so welcomed. I don’t mean to sound like a pity party. I just don’t know how to escape my boredom and dissatisfaction with life. Antidepressants just aren’t the answer either.
I telework, so some weeks I don’t even leave the house but once or twice. And that may seem great to some, but it gets old. I don’t feel like doing anything. So lethargic and dealing with a thyroid problem — but that’s pretty well under control.
I feel like I want to discover a way to reinvent my life before it’s too late.