Wait, or leave??

Where do I began? Lol!! Ok, I am new with this so bare with me! I have known this guy for more then 16 years we kind of grow up together in teen years. Nothing never happen between use until one night we when out with friends. He was 17. I just turn 18. All that happen was a kiss. A very long and passionate kiss. When we got done we were very surprised at what had happen. No, no alcohol was involved. And that was it!! Nothing else went on from there. We remained friends. He got married, I played the field for 9 years in and out of relationships. Well we had talk to each other on and off for them 9 years only at party’s that other friends have thrown over the years. It didn’t last to much longer between him and his wife. They have no kids together, she had kids from a previous relationship. But they never got a divorce.Well we got to see each other more because he and I start hanging out more with the same group of friends. We talk, but yet again nothing happened!!! We met up with yet again with the same group of friends about a year later. He this time in somewhat of a relationship they we’re see each other and sleeping with each other, but as he put it wasn’t dating each other just yet. Me I was still fishing around, been on a few dates but nothing else. We got tipsy that night!!! Neither one of us could drive so our friend told us we will drive you to our house and you guys can stay there until morning and we will take you back to get your vehicles. Needless to say ours friend didn’t believe in a normal size truck. It was jacked up and you had to climb to get in. On my way to getting in to this over size beast. My ” friend” was behind me I slipped and fell backwards. Thank god; he was there he caught me in med air. As I was in his arm he pulled me up to him and we locked lips for about 2 to 3 mins. Of course on the way to our friends house nothing was said or nothing happened. Well this is where I need y’all help?? A few weeks later I get a phone call from him asking if I wanted to hangout, just him and I. I said sure!! It was 3 weeks later before we finely got to hangout. And with in this 3 weeks we talked all the time on the phone every moment we got we talked!!! So he took me to his mothers house for a big cookout they were having. So later on that night as he was taking me home. We got on the subject of relationships!! He asked me what I thought of him and if I was interested in him in anyway and could I see us in a relationship in future! I told him that I like him very much just never thought to push it any further and yes I could see us in a relationship in the future. And kiss yet again and he stay the night. But nothing happened but kissing,talking and cuddling! He did try one times but I wasn’t that type of person to just give it up to just anyone. So we talk and talk as the weeks went by. I got a phone call from a girl that I had no idea that it was going to be his girlfriend!! We talked and I told her that he told me that he was see you,but was losing all interest with her!! Boy she didn’t like that to much. Not long after I got off the phone with her,he called rising hell with me because I had talk to her. I told him what we talk about and he switch his attitude like that. I told him that she called me!! But he apologize to me and said that he was coming over later on so we could talk this out and that the other girl he was going to tell her that it was over that it wasn’t going to go any further with her. He came over and we talk and I told him it was either me or her that I wasn’t going to be made a fool of or be the second girl in his life. He said ok that she was gone!!! Thinks we’re going good for 3 months. We weren’t in a stead relationship with each other. But every moment we got we were with each other and about 2 months in this whatever you would call it we started having sex. But even before we started have sex we we’re sleep in the same bed with each other at the beginning!!! Well this time we are together I find out he is still see this other girl and sleeping with her to. So I called him and told him we needed to talk so I met him for lunch. I ask him why? This was his excuse he said that when he went over there to her apartment to get some of his stuff that he had left over there a few weeks after he told he no more!! She used he kids as an excuse to barrow so money from him cause she couldn’t pay her light bill. So he give her the money and she told him she would pay him back in a couple of days!! Well when he went over there to get his money she told him she didn’t have it that she could pay him back in another way!!! I was shocked!!!!!! And then he told me when he slept with her that the condom had broke and there could be a change that she might be pregnant! Ya, that was another shock!! He also told me he had very strong feels for me and the same to him from me. I have always loved him as a friend!! And as we we’re see each other the feels got a little stronger. So he told that he was going to be a man and go back to cause of the case that she might be pregnant. So I told him do what he had to do to not even bother to hunt me down if she wasn’t and that it wasn’t someone he could fall back on. I also gave him my 2 cents of what I thought of him and that it would take me awhile to ever forgive him for what he did to me! He broke my heart is what he did. And I hold grudges for a long time. We’ll needless to say the girl wasn’t pregnant he is still with they have been together 2 years now. And after about a year of all this that happen I broke down and gave him a call and told him that I was sorry for all the names that I called him and asked if be friends was ok with him. Well I’m not the one that should be apologizing he should have but after a 2 hour phone call he broke down and apologize to me. And he started crying tell me he wasn’t happy with her that she never wants him home and they don’t have sex anymore!! And like the stupid person that I am we met up and slept with each other. And it didn’t happen again until about 10 months later we have been fooling around here and there when he comes into town, we talk everyday even as much as 3 times a day. He has been telling me he was stupid to go with her that he should have stay with me. That he want to be with me!! And like the stupid person I am I let my heart talk and not my mind. I told him that I wanted to be with him and that I would wait for him. I do love him. But here’s the thing it has be 4 month and he is still with her he tells me that he has got to take car of something first before he leaves he. Like as I’m money wise. They owe some friends some money and he want to pay it back. So that she is not left with all of that bourdon cause of the kids she has. Ok I said understandable! Now that everything’s is pay off. He tells me we’ll he doesn’t want to leave her without a car cause of the kids. The kids are not his the car is. The kids dad is in their life. I mean I he lives there almost. She does not give him sex she controls all his money, he doesn’t not have a key to get in to his owe house for when he comes off the road for weeks at a time. She tells him stay out on the road all the time and when he does come home she tells him don’t even bother coming he cause I’m not there and you can get in so go to your mother house. She is running to he baby daddy house all the time and staying there. But anyways I tell him I don’t feel sorry for you if you want to be put of that relationship that he is the one that is going to have to walkout. But I have a feeling why it’s so hard for him is because of her kids. I like I said I told him I would wait cause I love him so much!!!What should i do I need some help on this???

6 thoughts on “Wait, or leave??

  1. resullins says:

    [Honey, this one is easy. LEAVE!!! Leave now! And don’t look back. This man is stringing you along, and you’re just letting him. From what I’ve read, you’ve been in and out of this for like 12 years now?!?!? And judging from your prose and eloquence, I’m guessing that’s close to half of your life.

    This is ridiculous. You obviously know what to do, and you’re not doing it… so I don’t really have any sympathy for your current plight. This man is a liar, a cheater, and a user… and you’re his little plaything.

    You’ve had multiple chances and multiple warnings with this guy, and you haven’t taken any of them. Take one now, or resign yourself to a fate of putting up with his crap for another decade. And don’t expect anyone to come to your help if you keep this up.

    • Confused says:

      [Sweetheart I’m not looking for pitty or asking someone to feel sorry for me!!!!! I was just looking for some simple advice from outside my circle of friends. I know everyone is intitled to there owe opinion! And I didn’t come here to have someone paint me a picture with crap that dye with food coloring either. And in my opinion this was a big waste of my time and a joke!!! But thank you for your time and sorry to have wasted your time!!!!!!

    • resullins says:

      [And I gave you advice. My guess is you’ve gotten the same advice from your circle of friends, and didn’t like it, so you came looking for validation or different advice somewhere else.

      And you’re obviously looking for empathy or at least concurrence… or you wouldn’t have come here with this story.

      You know that I gave you the only advice you need. The only advice that works in this situation. The ONLY advice warranted. Whether or not you choose to accept it is totally up to you. But I assure you, you’re going to get no worthy advice having anything to do with staying with this man.

    • Peter434 says:

      [Actually, the “big waste of time and a joke” isn’t resullins’ advice. It’s the guy you’re in love with.

  2. Anna says:

    [I think when you are ready , you will realize the nature of your relationship. If you feel that this is the right relationship for you. It does seem that this gentleman has nothing but excuses for you, and chances are that he might never leave the other lady.

    Something else that you could do is date other people, that way you are not tied to him but have other people you are seeing.
    All the best.

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