Friends After First Date?

I went on one date with a guy I met at an event. We had a lot in common but I think it was more of a friendly/non-physical vibe. We texted for a few days after, and then I let him I would rather talk on the phone or hang out again b/c I’m not a fan of the back & forth texting. It went silent after that. I really liked his personality and would like to hang out with him on a friendly basis…would it be weird to contact him to do this?

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3 thoughts on “Friends After First Date?

  1. Solstice says:

    [It’s possible he also got the friendly vibe but is not really interested in making female friends at this time. Are you going to be seeing him again at future events? If you’re interested in being his friend you could try texting him (since he seems to like texting) and ask if he wants to meet up for coffee, lunch, whatever and see if he responds. I mean, you have nothing to lose, unless it seems like it will be weird if you see him again at events. But in my experience, it’s kind of hard to become friends with someone after going on a date where there wasn’t chemistry. Unless you have a ton in common.

  2. Dennis Hong says:

    [If you want to build a friendship with him, I think the key is to focus on the “event” you met at, which you didn’t elaborate on, but which I’m assuming to be a non-dating- and non-sex-related event. (If you met at, say, an orgy, then my answer would be completely different.)

    If a similar event comes up, text him and say something along the lines of, “Hey, my friends and I were thinking of going to this. Wanna join us?”

    I say text because, nowadays, it’s more conducive to casual “hanging out.” Actually calling him would feel more like you’re asking him out on a date. So yeah, get over your dislike of texting and accept that it’s here to stay. 🙂

    Mentioning that it’s a group thing will help communicate that this is a non-romantic invitation.

    Of course, you don’t have to do it that way. You can always just say, “Hey, there’s so-and-so event going on next week. Wanna join me?” Or, just be upfront about it and say, “Hey, I had fun and would like to hang out with you again, but I definitely felt more of a friend vibe between us. Did you feel it, too?”

    These are all valid options.

    Then again, none of this addresses how he felt about the date. If things “went silent,” that’s definitely a sign of disinterest in his part. I mean, it also matters whether or not he wants to hang out with you, ya know?

  3. yomar says:

    [First, check with him for the actual reason why he went silent for a while. Be sure to know if it is because of disinterest on going out with you, or because he prefers communication though SMS.

    If the first one is the main reason, you might as well go on and find new dating partners. Please do not try to work things out.

    If the second one is the reason, try to adjust for him. Some people find it more convenient and practical to text than to call.

    Lastly, reflect on the situation. Do you want to pursue a future relationship with someone who just went silent without informing anything?

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