Hey guys! I’m back! With bad news, I guess, that my LDR boyfriend and I did not survive, and so we have broken up, say, approximately 2 months ago? (Or rather, he broke up with me, and then I agreed, with a lot of crying on both sides. Sigh.) I’m not doing as horrible as I thought, although it does have ultimate suck moments. And also knowing (against my will) that he is already in another relationship (ALREADY. Dang.) does not help. I’m feeling quite inadequate. But, I already vented this out on another forum, but I sort of feel like I am murking up the vibe there, and don’t want to be a burden, thus, I’m turning to you wonderful people for some solid advice on something silly.
(Reading back on this, I now realize that me having a crush makes me sound like I’m 13. I apologize. I’m romantically underdeveloped..)
I have a crush! Isn’t that weird. It feels weird, after a couple of years of being in my first serious relationship. Just some background, I’m 20, in college, and really had the confidence of a plastic bag during high school and had terrible experiences with ALL my crushes. Mostly because I would build them up in my head and then be overwhelmingly disappointed when it didn’t turn out like my fantasy. (It rained a lot in my fantasies. And there was always a well placed fire and blankets and Lionel Richie CD near by..)
Anyways, I’m terrible with crushes. I don’t want to be. I want to be proactive! The thing is, this guy I have a crush on is SO incredibly good looking. I have never positively interacted with someone this good looking. I am sort of convinced that he is so good looking, that I am not good looking enough. (Though, with the help of therapy, I know that not to be completely true. But still. He is supremely gorgeous.)
On the plus side, through a few interactions, I know he finds me funny, and we also exchanged phone numbers. But that’s about how far it goes. I was introduced to his friend group, and now we all hang out in a group. He and I rarely text each other. (There isn’t really a reason to..? If there’s a hangout, someone else arranges it? Also, I think he hates texts? He always calls me instead of texting. Odd.)
Well, after Christmas break, I plan to invite that same friend group (with him included) to my apartment for a movie and dinner night. Not exactly my “ideal” on how I want to spend time with him, but I like that group of friends, and I want to cook for them. So win. (I also had the idea of pretending that everyone cancelled and he just showed up, and then I’d be all “Oh, goodness, well, want to share this blanket and watch Kiss Kiss Bang Bang?” But I don’t think that would go over well..)
I think, in general, I am just asking how to interact with a crush. I have had (now that I look back) quite the opportunity to hang out with him one-on-one, but was wayyyy too nervous because he is JUST SO HANDSOME.
I act like I’m interviewing him sometimes, I’m so nervous. But when it comes to his other friends, whom I am not attracted to, I am so normal. (Which, I realize, is normal.)
Ok, since I’m rambling, I’ll put this into TL;DR questions.
1) How do you act normal and be yourself around someone so attractive?
2) I mean, we hardly know each other, but in the back of my mind, I wonder if he even knows I exist, since he rarely tries to contact me. But I don’t either, so…
3) I don’t think I’m looking for a relationship this soon (though I sort of want one to spite my ex. Not a good idea, I know), so if it comes down to it, how do you demote crush-brain to friend-brain?
4) I keep comparing him and interactions and really every interaction I have with guys to how my ex and I first started dating, and nothing feels right. I guess I’ve got it pounded into my head that the way it went down first is THE way to date someone. I have no clue. Help?
Thanks guys, sorry for the long blurb. Have a wonderful holiday!