Is it too soon?

I have gone on a couple dates with a really nice guy. We seem to be hitting it off pretty well, and I can see this being a serious relationship in the future. But, I don’t want to rush it, and chance messing things up. So, my question might seem silly, but I have thought and thought about it and I can’t seem to figure it out on my own. When do you “friend” the guy you are dating on Facebook? I don’t want to come across as too pushy or rushing things, but I also really like this guy and think eventually we could go somewhere. And, I want to see his profile!!

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11 thoughts on “Is it too soon?

  1. Joanna says:

    [Doing it too soon can result in him being turned off by a deemed “invasion of privacy”. Which with an orwellian thing as facebook, there’s no such thing as. But I would advise waiting to see if there’s more mystery to discuss, unlike a facebook profile which kinda “lays all cards on the table”.

    Also, I am way too much of a sleepyhead and want to go to bed.

  2. karlos says:

    [Is Friending on Facebook really that big of a deal? I can understand if it was Twitter, following has negative connotations in a relationship, I think anyway. I’ve never gotten close enough to any of the girls I follow to hear if they dislike it.

  3. DavidIsGreat says:

    [Speaking frankly, for a lot of people, it wouldn’t matter so much. A friend request you can take or leave and the other person might not even know it.

    Friend him, dont go posting “in a relationship”or anything yet, but if you’re dating him unless you see this ending soon, why not?

    He does know you’re dating right? This isn’t like Fatal Attraction, is it?

  4. Solstice says:

    [Maybe wait a bit longer and then do it, but if he likes you, then it shouldn’t be an issue, and he should gladly accept.!

  5. ADHDelicious says:

    [Oh I love this overanalyzation of goddamn Facebook. How about this: If you want to creep his damn profile (which is obviously what you want to do) send him the damn friend request. If he’s instantly too “creeped out” by this brutal affront on his privacy, then guess what.. this guy probably isn’t gonna be the most receptive, open, nurturing type now is he? If he takes this friend request as immediately concludes this is a proposition of marriage or invitation into his world of BDSM on your next date, then that’s probably over the top for what you had in mind, right? There, question answered. Sending the friend request will immediately rule out some potential problematic questions.

  6. Kitte Lishuss says:

    [I have seen total strangers meetup and become FB friends right on the spot. A simple friend request is not a huge sign of anything to most people. It’s the modern equivalent to a nod in their general direction and and indication that “I am interested in what you have to say.” Unless the guy has only 10 friends and half of them are relatives. that guy might using FB differently than most folks.

    A friend request is not the same as changing your profile to say you’re “in a relationship” with him. That is something that should be done after mutual agreement.

  7. Jasmine says:

    [I say wait it out- you can’t talk about him in your status updates once you are FBuddies. Heh heh- I said FBuddies.

  8. lilredbmw says:

    [It’s Facebook. It really shouldn’t mean anything to what you have going on in “real life.” Just hold off for now. If you are concerned that he might read in to it, and make it something that it isn’t, then better to refrain and remove any doubt.

  9. Happy Pants says:

    [I hate that Facebook has invaded everyone’s lives so much. I think this depends on how much you use Facebook, and how much it’s going to affect your “relationship”. If you guys friend each other, are you going to spend hours poring over every detail of each other’s profiles, clicking back through years of photos and obsessing over everything? Or are you just going to take a glance and then carry on like he’s just one more of your however many friends you have?

    My short take on this is that I don’t think anyone’s ever said, “You know, I wish my boyfriend and I had become Facebook friends sooner.” If you feel the need to do it, do it, but in the long-run, it’s not going to matter.

  10. Jacs77 says:

    [If its important to you, friend him. If he denies it, then like many have said, either he doesn’t use facebook much, or he’s hiding something. I find facebook to be a big part of who I am and how I interact with friends/family I don’t see on a regular basis. I would want him to know me and who I am, and vice versa. Technology has unfortunately made dating more complicated, but I say red flag if he won’t accept your friend request. Its a normal enough action these days, friends or dating, that he should have nothing to hide and like the fact that you are taking the initiative and wanting to get to know him better.
    Good luck!

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