Ok, sorry guys for posting again so soon, but I’m trying to work through another communication hurdle, and would appreciate any help! So, as mentioned in the blurb before, I’m in an LDR. I’ve come to realize I have needs (I do!) but I am having troubles actually admitting I have them without feeling selfish.
I realize, in this LDR, I need affection. I don’t know if this is some self-esteem problem.. But, I come from a super affectionate family. Hugs, kisses, “I love you” after hanging up after any phone conversation. My boyfriend? Not so much. I don’t think I’ve seen his family members and him hug at all.. Or say I love you to each other. I’m very sure they love each other, just aren’t as physical with it, which is fine!
In person, I really feel very satisfied, as we can hand hold, kiss, hug, etc. But now with this distance, I feel I’m lacking.
Now, this isn’t a “fix it” question. I realize my boyfriend and I are different in how we express or need affection, and that’s perfectly great. I just don’t know how to ask for a little more…? Within a reasonable range? I don’t want to change him, I just want more…affection that manifests through the distance.
I’m trying to pinpoint what exactly I appreciate that he already does that is affectionate. The I love you’s are fine, but maybe hearing that he actually misses me? Or pet names? Or a good night text if we haven’t talked? I do that sometimes, and would love if he did that too.
I really just don’t know how to approach this, because I don’t want it to seem like I’m criticizing him! I also feel like asking for more affection is asking for too much sometimes, because I know how shy he can be with emotions. I know he loves me, but it’s nice to hear it expressed sometimes, you know? (Or maybe you don’t. Maybe this is just my self-esteem. GAH.) Many thanks for putting up with my neurotic self.