I’ve been engaged for about a month and a half now, and I’m completely ecstatic about it. P and I have been in an LDR for two years now, and we’ll both be moving to a new city together in a couple of months since his job is taking him there. We are so excited about starting a new life together, and the new city is in between the two cities we live in now, so we’re still within a few hours of our friends.
The issue is with one of my bridesmaids. She’s practically my best friend, but I feel like she’s more concerned about me “leaving her” than she is happy for me. She thinks P and I are a good match, and she likes to talk about how we’re so weird and perfect for each other, but almost every day she shouts “Damnit, P!” because she’s angry that he’s “taking me away from her.” I try to remind her that even if he hadn’t proposed, we would still be moving together this fall, but she just can’t stop thinking about our engagement as something that is bad for her. We’re very close, and I’m sad to be leaving her too, but I think it’s crazy to expect me to plan my life around hers. I also think she might be a little jealous, because since our engagement, she’s made some comments about how she thought she would be married with kids by now.
I’m very frustrated with her comments by now. I don’t want to directly confront her about them, because I know she’s just genuinely expressing her own hurt. But she’s starting to make me feel bad for doing something completely normal, when it really has nothing to do with her. I want to be able to be excited about ending the distance and about getting married, but whenever the topic comes up with her, she turns it into something sad and horrible. Sometimes she’ll even say something negative out of the blue while we’re having fun together because she realizes that we won’t be able to spend so much time together when I move. Should I continue trying to ignore her comments, understand her feelings, and make empathetic comments about how I’ll miss her too? Or should I address her comments? And if so, how can I do that while being sensitive to her feelings and letting her know that I value my time with her?