When do you make it “Facebook Official”

This is something my friends and I joke about a lot because we see people on facebook whose relationship status changes weekly. I know to some people announcing the relationship to friends is important, so they post it right away, while others might be more reserved and would rather not make an announcement until their sure.
When, if ever, do you post something like that to your facebook, twitter, tumblr, blog, etc…? Is there a certain point where it feels like you’re hiding the relationship if you don’t post it?

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14 thoughts on “When do you make it “Facebook Official”

  1. Happy Pants says:

    [Never, unless you’re engaged or married. I have to deal with enough crap in person from friends and family when they find out I’m dating someone. I don’t need to expound that into internet quantities. Then when you break up, it’s awkward, and everyone writes these sympathy messages… Plus, I don’t really want all that personal info on there. The people who need to know, know, and the people who don’t will probably find out through Facebook anyway in pictures.

  2. Solstice says:

    [I don’t think it feels like you’re hiding it if you don’t post it, some people just aren’t interested in posting that sort of information. I think with my most recent boyfriend we waited about 3 months before making it official. I wouldn’t want to do it too soon.

  3. DavidIsGreat says:

    [It’s harder to pick up chicks when your facebook status says you’re in a relationship. And “it’s complicated” just makes people ask questions.

  4. karlos says:

    [As a writer my persona is one that is very much in the public eye, for that reason I don’t feel comfortable posting information like that into a public forum. Since my facebook is littered with those who have added me because of my work. People I’m close to will know if I suddenly start being joined at the hip, metaphorically and literally with a lady, because I’ll tell them.

    Facebook, can stick to seeing pictures of me drunk.

    Although now I think of it, people whom only know me through facebook only see a perpetually single person who drinks a lot and masks the pain with jokes. No wait, that’s the same as a writer.

  5. MitziM. says:

    [When my boyfriend and I started dating he changed his right away and then I accepted the change a few days later. We had been really close friends for about 2yrs before we started dating, so the status change got about a million “YAY! GRATS, YO!!!” Comments on it, which I suppose is fine.

    Here’s the reason I actually asked the question: A few weeks ago I changed it back to single to fuck with my boyfriend (because I’m a terrible girlfriend and person. I can’t resist fucking with people) and within the hour I had 6 facebook messages 12 text messages and 3 people called. He never realized I had changed it.

    After that I decided I’m never changing it again. If we stay together, get married, break up, I don’t care, my facebook status will forever say in a relationship.

  6. Kier says:

    [I ran home shrieking and did it right away. I was just that damn excited because, well quite frankly, I thought she was out of my league and wanted to show it off to the world.

  7. Matt Sanchelli says:

    [I’ve always been torn about the Relationship Status on social media. Being listed in a particular way does not reflect the validity of the relationship (or lack there-of).

    Sadly, there are people who could be dating someone for weeks/months/years and if their significant other hasn’t made their relationship “public knowledge” (like on Facebook) they think this person is trying to hide their relationship from someone particular, or keeping their options open, etc., when all it really means is that they simply don’t put any stock into what their status says.

    Interestingly, yesterday I saw a Facebook friend had changed his relationship status from Married to Single and had also updated his status to say something like; “after a very long process my divorce is final.”

    Why would you want to broadcast this to EVERYONE (depending on your privacy settings)?

    For me, yes I’m extremely proud of my relationship with my girlfriend and am glad that I have the luxury of having my name on her page under ‘In a relationship with’…but if Facebook did away with the relationship status complete it wouldn’t signify the beginning of the end of my relationship.

    I guess after that entire soap box my advice is, “There really isn’t a right or wrong time because in the end all it really is is a public label made available to you by a series of 0’s and 1’s.

  8. ebees says:

    [My current boyfriend and I posted it after we had been together for a few months. I definitely wouldn’t post it if we had just established that we were “official”, just because I would want to save myself the embarrassment of having my relationship status change again after a week if it didn’t work out. Basically, we put it when we knew for sure we were gonna be a thing for a long while. He suggested it, and I complied. To be honest, I just kinda like showing him off.

  9. Jen says:

    [If time must be spent on something as worthless as “to FB it or to not FB it” (or LinkedIn for that matter because a relationship option is available) you should be asking why wasn’t that time spent on enjoying the relationship itself or with friends who would likely know you are already dating someone? I doubt most people need FB to tell their close friends or family what their status is on relationships or otherwise. Again, the disclaimer of: This is all in my humble opinion.

  10. PKP says:

    [I think you should if you’re married. The big ol’ married label establishes that I am in fact dead and have no interest in any other woman. Or it at least sets the tone of conversations with the fairer sex: “No, I will not make out with you, but we can still talk and be friends.”

    I imagine the boyfriend/girlfriend label is kind of pain in the ass. There’s no obligation to eternity there, so it’d be tricky to figure out when you should put up the label. But here’s my take on the subject: Every relationship (friends, sexy friends, lovers, etc.) runs through three stages.

    First, is the romantic stage; this is where things are crazy and you do crazy, usually romantic things that might kill you in the long run (think phone conversations that last through the night.).

    Second, is the the precision stage, where you and the other person begin to work out, rather naturally, what your relationship is (what you like, what they like, what you’ll do together), and this is where many relationships end because “What? You want to watch how much TV? I don’t think so.”

    Last is the resurgence stage, where precision and routine has been established and you and your partner almost act like a single unit most of the time, but with the added fun of recognizing the routine and being able to buck it with the occasional romanctic gesture. I think a couple that reaches this last stage could confidently put the relationship status on their facebook, but realistically, the precision stage would probably require some kind of virtual committment because facebook has become an extension of our identity.

  11. theattack says:

    [I take a different approach from most of the other commenters. If I’m exclusive with someone, and it has the potential to go somewhere, even just for several months, then I want to post it. Facebook is an important part of our daily lives now, even with people we see regularly IRL. If facebook is supposed to reflect what’s going on in my life to a degree, then a serious bf should certainly be on there. I want him to feel confident that I claim him in all facets of my life (and likewise, I want him to publicly claim me). Not to mention that having my profile linked to a bf’s really helps in making it understood that I’m taken. For some reason, guys my age do not seem to understand “no.”

  12. Dave Jag says:

    [When “Facebook” is even a criteria in the relationship…. don’t post it. It ain’t gonna last.

  13. Happy Pants says:

    [With my ex, I thought about changing my relationship status once we’d been together for a while, to be sure it wasn’t premature. Then we broke up about a week after I had that thought, and I was really glad I didn’t.

    To be honest, I think a lot of people want their significant others to change their status, even if they don’t include the name, out of jealousy. It’s like staking a claim. I guess if it was really important to my manfriend, and he wasn’t being a jealous tool, I’d change it, but I don’t think I’d ever initiate the change.

  14. Lexington says:

    [I like having the facebook relationship out there because I use it as a tool to judge how sketchy/not sketchy the guy I’m with is. For instance, mine currently says engaged and it wasn’t me who did the request, so I think the person I’m with is a pretty safe bet.

    Seriously, though, I just like knowing that the guy I’m with is proud enough of me that he’s willing to sqy to 100+ random people, ‘This is my girl’. It keeps me from having to pee on his doorstep like I did in the old days.

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