“My stepson and his pregnant girlfriend are counting on my husband to spoil them”

Hello, I am seeking advice on a daughter-in-law problem. Ann is not really our daughter-in-law. She is a pregnant girlfriend who lives in a small rented house with my never-been-married, 35-year-old, no-ambition, lazy, but sweet stepson. She has a five-year-old darling daughter from a previous marriage.

My husband and I have a daughter together, 30, but she is in no hurry to have children. This child would be our — but technically his — first grandchild. He is almost 60 and is overjoyed about the pregnancy. We only learned about this and met her four months ago. She is presently 6 months along.

She seems nice on the surface, but I have only been around her three times, and only a couple of hours each time. My problem is this: during these four months, she has texted my husband about five times and sent photos of her daughter. The daughter is not his granddaughter and she has not texted or sent photos to me (not that I want her to). Continue reading

“My wife and stepson don’t respect me”

Me and my wife have been together for 8 years, married for just over 3. She has a 10-year-old son from a previous relationship.

When we first got together, all was great. My stepson loved and enjoyed being around me, so we got engaged.

However, slowly over the years, my wife has left a lot of things to me in terms of housework, cooking and tidying our flat, doesn’t speak to me with an awful lot of respect, and is very often short with me when the situation really doesn’t call for it (I think of myself as a nice guy who doesn’t like confrontation).

The knock-on effect of the way she is has also caused my stepson to lack any sort of respect for me and treat me like dirt. If I try to stand up to him, my wife will just undermine my authority by visibly criticizing my parenting skills in front of him, to the point where I now walk out of the room if I can see he’s doing something he shouldn’t, because I know that if I react, then I will have my authority undermined again (when I do try to discipline him all I get is her moaning that we should stop arguing, rather than standing by what I have to say). Continue reading