“No matter how toxic our fights were, I couldn’t leave”

For the past two years, I have been with a guy who is 26 years older than me. He owns the business in which I am employed. He is very well known within a 300 mile radius. In the beginning, it was a lot of fun, and traveling, and going out, and a lot of other things. A few months into the relationship, I wanted out, and became suicidal. He just loved me so much and no matter how toxic our fights were I didn’t leave. I ended up moving in with him. He had his house listed for sale before I met him and so we moved to a new house. I tried to find a house that wouldn’t be too much if I finally left.

We settled in and continued to have toxic fights and I have been so unhappy, and yet he just loves me so much and makes sure he reminds┬áme of everything he given me, and how I am who I am because of him. But he doesn’t say it in that way, he’s really good with mind games. When we fight he says the most hurtful things and gets me so upset and worked up that I just beg and plead for him to just walk away and leave me alone for five minutes. But then he just wants to hug me and tell me he loves me and say that I’m his, and we’re fine.

I finally moved out, but because I didn’t want to lose my well paying job that I really enjoyed for the first time in my life. I ended up moving back in with him because I had nowhere to leave my dog when I was at work. Continue reading