“He forced anal on me”

I’m sorry in advance if this is a little graphic. Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year. We both agreed that anal sex was not something we were interested in. But about 2 weeks ago, he inserted his finger into my anus during sex. I told him it hurt, and he said that he wanted to do anal and we would have to start there.

The next night he asked if he could put his penis in it if he was gentle. I said no, but he did it anyway. I tried to get away, but he held me down, I was crying but he kept going harder. After it was done, he acted like everything was normal, so I assumed that he was oblivious to how much it hurt because we have kind of rough sex anyway.

Then the following night we got in an argument and I was lying on the bed. He grabbed my hair and put two fingers in violently. I was yelling for him to stop, but he just kept going harder. He did apologize afterward, because he did it because he was mad, and he knew it hurt. I’ve been seeing a lot that of that men being forceful when it comes to anal is fairly common. Please tell me what you think because I’m just confused.

“Our argument ended in violence”

My boyfriend and I got into an argument, and long story short, he ended up saying something along the lines of “at least I’m not a depressed bitch, waaah look at me, I have depression”, and I ended up hitting him in the face.

From that, he immediately got up and whacked me with a chair a couple of times. I couldn’t believe what I had done and I immediately said I was a monster and that he should just leave me. He refused, and even comforted my undeserving, crying, pathetic ass. I even told him to punch me in the face right back for it, which he did. He totally forgave me and said to not even worry about it, but I can’t forgive myself. What should I do? (Give me your honest answer, and don’t mention what he did because it isn’t the problem here.)