Okay, I’m posting this for my cousin (who’s a guy):

So I have this girl I’ve been dating for a couple years now. I really love her, and I’m the first guy she’s ever dated, but she’s going through a rough time right now- her parents are arguing a lot and probably are getting a divorce so she’s basically put us on break. She and I still talk every day and hang out, but she doesn’t know what she wants and I don’t really know what to do. I can’t really date around, but I can’t touch her either and it’s frustrating. At this point my choice is basically to wait or not wait and I’m trying to just go with the flow. Is there anything specific I should be doing in this situation?

Also I really don’t want to tell my mom, she loves my girlfriend and thinks we’re going to be together forever.

Yup… one of those. But seriously, it’s not as bad as you think.

My bf and I have been together for 4 years… we’ve been planning on marriage for 3 (including him saving for the ring)… we’ve own a house together for 1.5. Needless to say, we’re in this for the long haul. I’ve started to put a little pressure on him about the marriage thing lately, though… for a couple of reasons.

1. If I were to get hit by a bus, Q would get half the house, and my mother would get the mortgage… for a variety of reasons. Now, Q is not the kind of guy to shirk his responsibilities, but it would still cause some problems.

and 2. I want kids, and I’m RAPIDLY approaching 30. My parents had me and my brother when they were VERY young, and I like that now… Q’s parents had him and his sister in their mid-30’s, so he thinks that’s more the norm. However, I REALLY don’t want to wait that long… again, for a variety of reasons.

So… I have told him that he has until my birthday (May 8th… I now expect lots of gifts!) to propose. Or else I’m flying us to Vegas and we’re getting it done… one way or another.

However, he says he’s about $600 from the ring that he’s been wanting to propose with for a long time. So I guess my question is should I wait? Should I fold my hand? Knowing that he’s been saving for 3 years… and still hasn’t reached what I consider a VERY meager goal. Or should I just insist that we go get married and start the rest of our freaking lives?

ETA: He’s the one that insists on the ring. Not me. He’s the one that insists on the proposal, the formality, the wedding. I would be happy at the courthouse.

He’s also the one that wants us to be married before we decide to have kids. So HE’s the one holding up the works.

No, I don’t care about his SAVINGS. Read again… he’s picked out the ring, it’s REALLY not expensive, and he’s not there after 3 years… so I’m wondering if he ever will be.

I got matched up with this person on eHarmony and we’ve been in communication for about two weeks. She gave me her number, so I called her last Wednesday. She didn’t get back to me right away, though.

She sent me two text messages over the next few days to apologize and say that she was busy. I text back that it was okay, and to call when she had the chance.

Finally, she called me late last night at around 11 PM. I was driving at the time, so I didn’t notice the call. She left kind of a terse message, just saying “Hi ____, this is ____,” and then hung up. I didn’t think too much of it and didn’t call her back. But then a few hours later, at around 1 AM, she called and left another message. This time, I noticed she obviously had a few drinks. I say obviously because she wasn’t that coherent.

I really didn’t know what to make of it. I’m a tolerant person, so it wasn’t a big deal to me, but I know that if I did the same thing to a woman, she would probably ignore all my calls from here on out.

She did apologize this morning via text, which was nice of her, but now I’m not getting the best impression of her. I mean, is she only going to call me when she’s had a few drinks? Is she interested, but just flaky?

Not really a ‘relationship’ question in the sexual way, but in a work/personal way. I’m a few weeks into my new job. Its an in-person help desk/repair job for computers and other electronics. I am the only female working in that department (the store has other departments, but we very seldom interact with anyone else). I have no issues being the only female, as that has normally been my lot in life. Having a brother the same age, and me being shy (got over that) meant when we were young, i spent time with his friends and didnt make my own. Got used to being only around guys. Add on top of that being a video game addict, IT geek, and frequenting heavy metal concerts. Besides family, i’ve only got one female friend. Like i said, i’m used to it. 4 of the guys i work with (i will call them ‘mine’ just to make thins easier) have no problem with me being of the female gender, and luckily the ones who’s shifts coincide with mine the most. They learned quickly (first day quickly) that i dont get offended, and can give as good as i take for friendly insults, banter, joking, and lewdness. Sadly thats only half of the guys i work with. While i dont see the other 5 as frequently (who i will call ‘the others’), i’ve still been around them plenty at this point, and they’ve even seen how comfortable ‘mine’ and i are when interacting. And ‘mine’ have stated several times that the ‘others’ act odd, quiet, and tense around me. And its not getting better the more i work with the ‘others’. I know i’ve only worked 12 days in, but the ‘other’ guys’ awkwardness around me makes me feel awkward so, while it doesnt effect our work, i get quieter and more reserved, which probably makes them think even more so that i’m not someone they can be loose and at ease with like they were before there was a girl in their midsts. I dont want to be their best friend, but with how relaxed, friendly, laid-back, FUN the job is with ‘my’ coworkers, and they say thats how its always been, i feel awful that my presence is making the ‘others’ not have that kind of work place currently. It is still early, and i’m hoping they’ll see i’m okay with sex jokes and crude language and such, but i’m not sure if there is anything i can, or should do, to help it along so i dont feel like i’m ruining the fun for the ‘other’ guys. Any tips?

I’d been out of work for almost a year and a half due to mental health issues until recently. Up until 3 or 4 months ago, our sex life had been fine. The past few months its been so slow/scarce that it was causing issues. I’m sorry, but at MOST 3 times a week just isnt enough (and yes, i know that is more than a lot of people, but this is MY story and my sex drive is through the roof). And in my opinion, it was odd that it was effecting me, the female, more than him. It was to the point that when we crawled into bed (we always sleep together naked unless camping), just feeling him naked next to me would get me so worked up that i couldnt sleep! I would go lay out on the couch and read until i was almost asleep, then crawl back into bed and pass out. Well, February 2nd i started a new job that i love!! Well, in the past 12 days, we’ve had sex 13 times! Im loving it! Our normal (before the slump) was 4 or 5 times a week, sometimes up to 7. And very seldom was it twice a day (unless it was 2 am before sleeping, then 8pm after shower in ‘technically’ the same day). My concern is that its just because of the stress its taken off Babe and my own happiness picking up from being useful again, and it will go back to the awful slump. I would be 100% okay with going back to 5ish times a week. Not saying i wouldnt LOVE to keep it at 8 or more 🙂 I’m okay with more than normal, i’m okay with normal. But i honestly dont know if i can keep going with the slump rate. I would NEVER think about leaving him because our sex life is slow, but it gets SOOO frustrating!!! Any thoughts??

If someone lied in their online dating profile and then you found out about it after you went out with them, how much of an issue would this be? For example, my boyfriend said he was single in his profile, but on our first date he admitted that he was divorced. He said he put that he was single because he didn’t think many women would want to date a divorced guy. I let him know that I was disappointed in his lie and he felt bad about it, and after our first date he changed his online profile status to divorced. We ended up continuing to date, because I liked him and wanted to see him again, so it was something I overlooked. I know it could’ve been a sign that he would continue to lie to me, but luckily as far as I know, he hasn’t, and we have a very trusting relationship. And I can understand being embarrassed/not wanting to admit about being divorced, although you might as well just admit it in your profile because you’ll have to tell your date at some point.

Would you have overlooked it like I did? Would you have said “Sorry, you lied, see ya?” What if someone lied about whether they had kids? About their job? I know there are varying levels of lies and how serious they are, but basically would you tolerate any lying at all, or not?

How about lies of omission? I know someone who went out with a girl he met online, and she had part of her arm amputated, which he did not know beforehand. Is that something that should be displayed in at least one of her photos, so that the guy isn’t totally surprised when he shows up for a date with her? Or is it okay to not show it at all, so that a guy doesn’t think “I don’t want to date a girl with some sort of handicap”?

How about when someone shows photos of themselves from years ago when they were much younger/thinner/totally different hair color and style/had no tattoos and now they have a bunch? When they don’t look like their picture, is that lying in a way?

I’m hoping you all can help me with my situation. It’s a little… awkward, to say the least.

I’ve been with my boyfriend now for about 2 years. When we first got together, we had a really passionate sex life. I know after time, most relationships will see a drop in the frequency of the sex they have. And that’s certainly the case with us, to a point. I mean, we still have sex regularly and it’s still great, etc. But for some reason he stopped going down on me about a year ago. It used to be his favourite thing to do. But for some reason, he just refuses to do it now and I’m kind of afraid to ask why. I wonder if there is something wrong with me. I am very generous myself, and often give him oral stimulation without prompting. Most of the time we are really open with each other, but for some reason it seems really weird and awkward to try and ask him why he stopped doing it. I’ve tried sort of directing him down there while we were in the midst of foreplay but he just resists and starts kissing me and doing other things to distract me. I love this guy, and can see perhaps being in this for the long term. But I’m not sure I want to resign myself to a life without oral, even if that sounds utterly selfish.
Are there things I can do to find out myself? I mean… do I smell or something? How would I know without asking? I’m just so confused and hurt, and obviously this is a really sensitive issue. I’m sorry if this is TMI, I’m just at a loss here and don’t know where to turn. I really don’t want to talk to my friends about this problem. I feel like if I don’t figure it out, I’m going to say something at the wrong time and ruin everything.

Thank you in advance! I look forward to hearing your suggestions.

I just started dating this truly amazing guy a month ago. It is a truly magical relationship so far. The only issue is that I make 4x what he does. How do I not screw this up like I have in past relationships by feeling resentful towards him later on? Right now we do cheap/free dates like cooking at home, going to the beach, game nights, or redbox movies, which is actually pretty awesome not spending any money. How do I overcome the tradional financial roles that exist? How do I avoid his resentment if I pick up the check more frequently than he does?

So I’ve been dating a great guy for almost a year, and our relationship is really good. We get along well most of the time, but there’s just one quality of his that really been getting on my nerves.

Sometimes I just feel like he’s too full of himself. He’s an average-looking guy who just started working out. He wasn’t overweight or anything before, just a little untoned and scrawny. I really liked his old body, and it made me feel more comfortable about my own body because I didn’t have to worry about him judging my own imperfections. But lately I feel like he’s been bragging about his looks. Like when he started working out and bulking up, he’d always be flexing in the mirror and fishing for compliments about his new body. When he gets a new shirt he puts it on and makes a comment about how good he looks in it, and I just can’t put my finger on why it annoys me so much but it really does. I think it’s because my number one turnoff in guys is cockiness, and I feel like my boyfriend is turning into some self-absorbed douche.

He compliments me sometimes, but I feel like he focuses on his own looks way more than he does mine. Even though he doesn’t mention it, I’m starting to get the vibe that maybe now that he got more muscular, he thinks that he can do better than me and is scoping out all the hotties at the gym.

So the other day when he was looking at his muscles in the mirror after working out and asked me what I thought in his new annoying, cocky voice, I finally snapped and told him he really needed to lose the attitude because he wasn’t as hot as he thought he was and he had an unfounded, over-inflated ego. He got really pissed off and said that I was just trying to bring him down and took him for granted, which just pissed me off even more.

He’s been pretty mad at me ever since, and while I feel like maybe I shouldn’t have spoken out of anger I still stand by what I said. How do I get him to stop being mad at me, while still getting it across to him that I don’t like the guy he’s turning into?

My boyfriend and I have been off and on for a year. For his birthday and Christmas I’ve bought him awesome gifts (totaling quite a bit of money.) He talked up how much he was going to get me, but he only came through with one gift, maybe $60 to the $600 I spent on him. He also got the two of us some concert tickets so that’s $360, but he kept them–I don’t have them.

Valentine’s Day is coming up and he said he wanted a $200 gift. I’m wondering–should I even buy it if he’s not going to reciprocate the effort of trying to get a good gift? I’m not trying to keep score here, but when it becomes pretty blatant that he’s asking for expensive things but not returning the favor, should I bother?

Edit: He specifically asked for X and Y. I responded by asking for certain things for Christmas too, but he didn’t follow through. One of the things I tracked down was a pair of Air Jordans that he really wanted, but the price was hiked up to $400 ($200 above market price.) But I knew he really wanted them so I got them.

Edit2: The gift he’s asking for for Vday is an electric razor.