Let me preface this by saying I can’t stand drama and avoid it as if it were the worst form of flu ever. However, I am friends with two girls who pretty much hate one another and I find myself involved too often. It’s not that I would like to be involved, but the girls seem to vent about one another to me. They know that I won’t trash the other, and I hardly ever even offer advice, and I never take sides. Yet since they are both my friends I feel like I end up caught in the middle. What would you do? It seems unlikely that they will ever be friends, but I don’t want to stress anymore about their differences!! Help!

Who is your model couple? Who do you look up to when trying to mold your own relationships. I always wonder, because I know that for a lot of people, it’s their parents. But my parents have been divorced since I was 6 months old. I actually can NOT imagine my parents being together.

I also ask because some friends of mine, who seemed to have the perfect relationship, are getting divorced. Two kids, happy, well off… no one saw it coming. So it’s kind of reinforcing my cynicism when it comes to relationships.

So who do you look up to? Or who do you look down to?

If any of you have ever been unsure about moving to a new city (at least a couple of hours away), but it worked out and you were so glad you moved, I’d like to hear about it. My only experience with moving more than a couple of hours away, aside from college, did not work out well and I moved away again after 4 months. Which is why I’m hesitant to do so again. However, if my job/social life/love life hasn’t improved by the time my lease is up next year at this time, I think I’m going to consider moving to shake things up. I also would hate to be far away from my family, so that’s something else I have in mind (right now I live 45 minutes from my parents and about an hour and a half from my grandfather/aunts/uncles/cousins).

Anyway, I’d just like to hear thoughts and advice about it as it’s something that recently popped into my head. I just don’t want to be stagnant forever if things aren’t going my way around here.

Basically my mother recently revealed to me that she’s broken up with her boyfriend of several years. I’ll not get into the details because they’re not important.

She’s made it kind of clear that she wants me to come home after I finish my exams. Thing is though I’ve been told by my brothers she’s wanting to go out for a few drinks with her sons, which is something we often do, we’re family and rarely have a chance to see each other. However they’ve mentioned she’s also ready to move on and both aren’t willing to discuss this with her.

I guess my question is, is it weird for me to be a wingman for her? I personally have no problem with it, she’s my mother and I want her to be happy, if that extends to giving her moral support or just being a friendly face, so be it. But my brothers are hesitant to get involved, so I’m wondering if I should be a little hesitant too. Or should I just tell them to sack up and act like adults?

I also re-wrote this so many times to try and make it seem less like I’m trying to pimp out my mother, I still think I’ve failed if I’m honest.

I dated my high school sweat-heart throughout college, which was great…until it didn’t work out after we’d graduated college. Besides the serious heartbreak and soul searching, I missed out on honing courtship skills in college when everyone else was figuring them out. Enough time has passed that I am ready to move on and start seeing people, but I feel lost and clueless (hence my name here) as to how it all works. An example from this weekend:
I attended a party my friend was hosting on Saturday night and met this girl and we seemed to connect fairly well. At the end of the night we both took the metro, and while on the metro I asked if she would like to get dinner sometime, she said sure, and so she put her info into my phone. Sunday afternoon, I texted her to see if she was interested in dinner Monday night (as I figured I should try to keep the momentum going and also because Monday night worked best for me). She responded later in the evening that she wasn’t interested. So I’m wondering–did I come on too strong, and should have given it more time? Or is this just an example of it being easier to say no when you’re not with the person? Or just a sober realization of “I’ve made a mistake” disinterest (although neither of us had too much to drink, and I had more than she)? And basically, do you have any other words of advice/wisdom for a novice in this subtle and tricky game?

Has anyone here ever been on Match.com? Or even eHarmony? Because I think both sites are guilty of doing this as a sleazy way to get people to sign up….

Anyway, my Match.com profile has been inactive and hidden for over five months now. Just last weekend, though, I got an email that someone was interested in me and had sent me a message. This is weird, because my profile shouldn’t be visible to anyone.

Being curious, I logged in to check, but… of course, you have to be a paying member to view any messages you receive. Hmmmm.

I mean, I suppose it’s possible that someone I corresponded with way way back somehow became interested again. And, I have to admit, I’m a little curious (“…but what if this mystery person is, like, Jessica Alba or someone equally hot and famous?!?”), but ultimately, I’m not gonna pay $20 just to satisfy my curiosity.

So, here’s my question: Has this happened to anyone else? Have you gotten random messages from people who are supposedly “interested” in you? Did you take the bait? Did you ever meet these people?

I can’t help but wonder if any of the online dating sites use shill profiles as a way to entice people to sign up or stay on. I mean, it’s pretty common in online dating that you’re corresponding with someone, then they just stop responding. How would you ever know if these were actually real people?

I have a buddy who is, how shall we say, not the most socially graceful guy. If you know him well, he’s a great guy and fun to hang out with. So when we’re out as a group with people we both know, he’s perfectly fine.

The problem comes up when I try introducing him to new people. He doesn’t do it EVERY time, but he often says inappropriate things and just makes people feel awkward. Perfect example–a few weeks ago, we were out at a bar, and I ran into a female friend of mine, who was there with some random guy I didn’t know. She introduced him to us, I introduced my buddy to her, and literally the first words out of my buddy’s mouth are, “So, are you guys dating or what?”

Of course, my friend is mortified, because as I find out later, they were only hanging out as friends, but she was hoping for something more (but that’s another can of worms).

Anyway, this is the exact kind of stuff my buddy pulls, and I have no idea how to stop him. He’s also the kind of guy that says, “Hey, that’s how I am. If people can’t handle it, f— ’em.” Which I think is a defense mechanism for being socially awkward. But, whatever.

At this point, I pretty much just avoid introducing him to friends of mine he doesn’t know. But, ultimately, he is a good guy, and I’d like to be able to include him when I’m hanging out with others. Like I said, once you get to know him, he’s fine. But, it’s that first impression that he just doesn’t seem to know how to handle.

Any suggestions on how I can talk to him about this?

I’m curious as to what you find attractive about the opposite sex? What do you initially find attractive about a person, but then, what actually makes you want to take things further(as in a relationship vs just mutual attraction)?

So, I work in a small office that’s part of a larger organization. There are only four of us in my section, two women (including myself), and two men, one of whom supervises the rest of us. We all work closely together and have solid friendships both in and out of the office.

My problem is that the other male in the office (so, not my boss), has developed feelings for me. He is married (with kids!), although his marriage has had a number of ups and downs and divorce has been discussed. I’ve been kind of aware that this guy maybe felt more for me than is appropriate for just a friend and co-worker, but it wasn’t blatantly clear until last night, when he tried to kiss me.

I was able to avoid the kiss, and we parted on good terms, but I think it’s pretty clear that he’s going to try again and I need to figure out how to convey to him that any romantic entanglement between us REALLY really cannot happen (which is so obvious, anyway, but that’s a different story I guess), but also try to preserve the harmony of the office dynamics, not to mention the friendship (although that’s going to take a hit regardless). I’m torn between sitting down and having a conversation with him or taking the passive route by refusing to spend any more time with him solo. Any thoughts, advice, suggestions???

This sounds like an incredibly stupid question, but it seems like there has to be a “right way” to break up with someone. Lately I’ve been somewhat unhappy in my relationship, and questioning whether I want to continue it. My boyfriend is amazing, and we get along great, which makes this decision even harder.

I know my boyfriend is crazy about me, and I know he’s confident in our relationship and probably has no idea that I’m having these thoughts. And I know if I were to break up with him, he would probably be completely blindsided and devastated.

I’m still not sure what I want to do, but if I did break up with him is there any way to prepare him? I feel like it would be cruel to just drop it on him when he’s completely unsuspecting. So do I have a conversation a few weeks prior about how I’m unhappy? Let him know that I’ve been feeling differently about him? My unhappiness isn’t anything that I think he can really change, so I’m not sure if it would just make it worse to upset him and draw it out.