What’s “attractive?”

I’m curious as to what you find attractive about the opposite sex? What do you initially find attractive about a person, but then, what actually makes you want to take things further(as in a relationship vs just mutual attraction)?

10 thoughts on “What’s “attractive?”

  1. Eleanor Roosevelt says:

    [Initially, it’s always the smile, eyes, and laugh that hook me. For me to pursue it farther, he needs to have ambition, goals, be fairly intelligent, speak well of his family, and think I’m the bee’s knees.

  2. BreckEffect says:

    [Oooh good question!

    Obviously there is the physical part of it, i.e. does he look athletically inclined towards some of the same activities that I am, do I like to look at his face…but as for the non-physical side of things, initially I am attracted to how a person carries himself, his sense of humor, and his overall demeanor. Is he laughing with his friends? Easy to chat with? Does he appear confident yet open and friendly? Does he seem interested in what I have to say? If the answer to all of those things is yes, then I’d want to get to know him better…in all the ways I can ;).

    In terms of taking things further and committing to something more serious, I look for the following: Can he hold an intelligent conversation? Does he have a few things in his life that he cares a lot about? Has he accomplished at least one thing that he’s really proud of? Does he treat me respectfully and does he seem emotionally ready for a relationship? Do we click on a deeper level of being able to talk about difficult subjects and finding each other interesting past the superficial stuff? Does he have a generally positive outlook on life? Do I respect the choices he’s made in life and where he is now? Do we continue to have good sexual chemistry?

    That seems like a lot of stuff..but I’ve been thinking about this type of thing a lot lately and I’m pretty solid on those. I wouldn’t necessarily have to know all of them at once, but if, as I get to know someone, stuff comes up that reveals he doesn’t have some of those qualities, I would not feel confident committing to a relationship with him.

  3. Laurel says:

    [There are a few physical things I notice right away. On a man, I like to look at his hands (are they well-proportioned or stubby?), his posture (does he hunch up? how does he carry himself?), his hair (and not just on his head, :lol:, I love a man with thick body hair) and his shape/build (my ideal is just a little taller than me and lean). I also take notice of a guy’s voice. I find loud people really tiring, so this is a big one for me. I have to like his voice if we’re going to hit it off.

    Other than that, there are a few special things that make a man attractive to me. I am very drawn to intelligence, but especially the kind of intelligent person who is enthusiastic (rather than smug) about their knowledge. I like a guy who can teach me something.

  4. PKP says:

    [I like all kinds of women. Wow, now that I think about it, I can’t really get any more specific than that. I mean, I know there are things I don’t like but there’s nothing I can point out (like tall girls or intelligence) that I haven’t found the exception to. I’ve known a few short stupid girls that were just so sweet and kind that I couldn’t help but love them.

  5. karlos says:

    [The one thing I’ve always noticed in women is hair.

    For some reason it just massively effects how attractive I find somebody, I think it’s why I grew mine. So when I’m lonely I just need a mirror and some lip stick.

  6. MitziM. says:

    [He has to be someone I can have fun with and someone who can handle me. I love to go out with my friends and I especially love to go to shows and throw myself around a pit a little, the guy has to be able to keep up. Also, I’m kind of a huge bitch and I’m very blunt without realizing it. A lot of people find that very hard to deal with, so if a guy can take what I say at face value and not freak out about it, he’s a keeper.

    If we’re talking about a fantasy ideal, mine would be tallish (not more than 6ft) with dark, shaggy hair and lighter colored eyes. He’d be “healthy” in body tone, not really built or really anorexic. He’d care very little about the clothes he wore or things like cologne or jewelry. He’d be funny, side-splitting, life-of-the-party funny. Smart enough to hold a conversation, but not so smart that he makes everyone in the conversation feel like an idiot. He has ambition, and passion to do something great with his life, the kind that lights his eyes up when he talks about it. He knows when to take my bullshit and when to shut me up. He loves often and with intensity and hates very rarely. He is basically a Disney Prince.

    This guy, does not exist. Trust me, I’ve looked. The good news is: the guy I’m currently with meets about 85% of the criteria, and 100% of the really important stuff.

  7. Matt Sanchelli says:

    [Ladies: How much does a guys “attractiveness rating” go Up when you see him holding a puppy or baby?

    Gents: Same question but replace puppy or baby with video game controller or fire arm?

  8. Solstice says:

    [Faces, eyes, voice. If they have a good sense of humor. If they’re passionate about at least one sports team (I find that hot). If they’re into music. If they love animals. If they’re close with their family. If they like to cook and enjoy trying different cuisines.

  9. Matt Sanchelli says:

    [Obviously the initial attraction is usually based on some sort of physical aspect (unless you’re communicating online without sharing pics or web cams).

    I’m a cliche’ with eyes and a smile. It was no surprise when I met my girl that she had to eyes, a mouth and the ability to form it in the shape of a smile.

    But in all seriousness it was on our second date that her smile completely won me over and I knew I was caught in her tractor beam.

    From there every little new bit that I learned about her made me want more. Her confidence. Her ambition. Her drive to success; both personally and professionally. We had an incredible rapport from the beginning which largely consisted of making the other person laugh.

    We spent countless hours talking and just spending time together.

    So, beginning items would be: eyes, smile, laughter, confidence, humility, intelligence…the usual stuff.

    The things that keep things going in this attraction is her kind heart, loving nature, empathy and compassion when I’m down or ill, mutual respect, continued drive to learn and grow along with her push to keep me motivated to learn and grow.

    I absolutely love how she’s willing (at times) to make a completely fool of herself and just “not care” what others may think/say…because I personally have troubles ‘cutting loose’ from time to time. I’m most definitely the more reserved of the two of us.

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