“Take her back or let her go?”

I’ve been seeing this girl, not that long, but have completely fallen in love with her. I see the good in people because that’s who I am, and I definitely see the good in her. I’ve managed to break down her wall and she says she sees us getting married and that I’m a different kind of love.

But she’s hurt me multiple times in many different ways, she hasn’t cheated though. She’s broken my heart twice from her cruel words and cold shoulder behavior at times. She’s been badly hurt before in a relationship and she blames the way she acts, on her being hurt. But I’ve seen the change in her, she stopped drinking and finally learned to open up and trust me.

The conflict is, no-one, friends and family, like seeing us together because of how badly she’s hurt me so many times before. I love this girl to death and can’t ever seem to let her go but I value the opinion of those around me. My heart says take her back and my mind says let her go. What do I do ?

3 thoughts on ““Take her back or let her go?”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Let her go. Look, if she wanted you she would make it known instead of blaming it on her being hurt or any such thing. Your friends and family are right and you should listen.

  2. Anonymous says:

    If you haven’t been together that long maybe you should give it more time. Listen to your friends but consider whether they have all the information. For example if you mostly only talk to them about her when you’re hurt, they’re bound to think she’s bad news.
    Her “cruel words and cold shoulders” very well may be coping mechanisms left over from previous bad experiences. She will need to make an effort to stop doing those things, and it will take time, but if she cares about you she will. I say talk with her about your concerns and see if she wants to put in the effort to make it work.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Nothing you can say or do will honestly help her if she doesn’t want to help herself. She needs professional counseling and not extra relationship baggage. I would suggest looking up “white knight syndrome.” Short version of it is where one person in a relationship is always trying to rescue the other person which is very unhealthy in a adult relationship. You need someone who can be your partner and not your dependent.

    I would stay friends with her, and I do mean friends in the truest sense of the word, not “I’m going to put kindness coins in you until you become my significant other.” Also, try to get her to start helping herself. If you feel like she will harm herself at all please call 911.

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