My boyfriend and I have just celebrated our one year anniversary together, and have undergone tremendous growth in the last year, resulting in plans for a life and future together. A few months ago, though, he admitted to cheating in the first couple of months of our relationship… with more than one girl.
I was obviously heartbroken, but decided that at the end of the day, his apology was sincere and I do still love him and want to pursue a future with him. The problem is, not only do I see the girls around campus, but he also works with them both. I feel like I’ve forgiven him, but every time I see one, or they come up in conversation with other friends, I get overcome by anger and pain. Not necessarily directed toward him, just with the whole situation. If I know I can trust him and I feel like I’ve forgiven him, how do I stop these girls and associated feelings from hurting me?
One thought on ““He admitted to cheating and I can’t get over it””
What was the extent of his cheating? Was it sex, flirting, kisses, or just “talking” to them? If he had sex with all those girls then honesty I don’t think you should forgive him. Emotional cheating such as flirting or talking can be forgivable but seriously if he took his dick out and popped it in their vaginas then that is inexcusable.
If he still wanted to fuck other girls then he should’ve been upfront with you in the beginning, saying he wasn’t ready for commitment and still wants to hookup with others. But nope, he kept dating you and still decided to sleep around! That’s unforgivable. And the idea that he is still around these girls is even more concerning.
In my opinion, if I’ve had any kind of romantic relations with someone and those relations are no longer active then I find it very hard to stick around that person. I’ve tried staying friends with exes and it never works. Our minds always ended up going in the gutter. So I cut them out completely.
However it seems like he cannot cut these girls out which is cause for concern. Especially if he did sleep with them, they could still end up talking and possibly even rekindle what happened months ago. You will have to keep your eyes on both girls at once and honestly do you really want a relationship like that??
Then again, he COULD actually be 100% over them and doesn’t want anything to do with them but you never know. If you do decide to stay with him, just keep a close eye out. Feel free to be clingy and message/call him constantly or stake out his workplace if he stays overtime. If he doesn’t like it then tough shit! He wanted to be sly now he has to deal with being babysat.
If he doesn’t agree to telling you his whereabouts constantly then it’s time to move on because he obviously has a trick up his sleeve. Don’t waste your time on someone like that. It’s heartbreaking I know but I am the kind of person who could not forgive this if my bf did it. I’m just too jealous and insecure to handle something like that. Especially when 2 people are involved! Good luck 🙂