“He doesn’t show that he loves me like he did before”

Hello. First of all, thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I hope I get advice from you. This is my first time asking for advice online and I feel like I can get the answers that I need in here. About my problem, I’m so confused if whether my boyfriend truly loves me or not. Well, he is handsome (he knows that obviously), smart, affectionate (which I like the best), and caring (at the start of the relationship yes, but now not so much).

We’d been in a relationship for 1 year and 3 months. I make twice his income (but I’m not that bothered about that). I already met his parents a lot of times and vice versa. He drives me to my work everyday which is 40 mins away from home using his motorcycle. Actually half of the money to pay for the motorcycle is from me. He treats me snacks or lunch or dinner and vice versa. He’s really sweet when we’re alone. I love it when he hugs me. But what’s bothering me about him is that he doesn’t plan anything for me like what he used to do before. I asked him about it and he said that sometimes if we have plans it just gets cancelled so it’s better if I tell him myself that I’m free and we can go out. But I’m disappointed that he doesn’t makes any plans, like telling me that he wants to go to the beach with me, or he wants to visit that place with me. But then there are times where the two of us are just sitting there saying nothing to each other except him asking what time it is. Like he’s bored with me or something.

I tried to confront him about this and we did talk, but it ended him telling me that I’m the one thinking too much. He says he has problems and that I’m adding to his problems. He didn’t resolve our conflict and I’m very much hurt because of this. I don’t know if it’s me or I’m just feeling something is wrong.

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2 thoughts on ““He doesn’t show that he loves me like he did before”

  1. Anonymous says:

    I’m only 20, so keep that in mind. I clearly am not old enough to have real experience with stuff like this, but I figure something in my rambling can help.

    There’s definitely times where people can get a little bored in a relationship. The way you’ve described it, it seems like he’s lost something inside him that gave that spark that you desire. I’m not saying it’s gone forever, but for the time being it’s not there. Perhaps a bit of reorganizing is due. I’m sure even though he says that you’re the one overthinking it, he’s thinking a lot about it too. I don’t know the ins and outs of your relationship obviously, but maybe there’s something big you guys can do together like a weeklong vacation or something that could help you reacquaint yourselves.

    That’s my spiel, I hope it helps at least a little. Good luck, my friend.

  2. Anonymous says:

    You didn’t say what his problems were. Frankly you sound like a spoiled child not getting their way. No other person is going to make you happy if you can’t do that yourself. If you want to do something make plans. Relationships aren’t 50/50. Sometimes during times of trouble they are 90/10. Can you deal with this when something real arrives? Cancer? Heavy work loads? Death in the family? Depression? No? If not then date around more so you both can find someone who can fulfill your needs.

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