What should I do, I like my bf, but his stubbornness and naivety are irritating me. Especially when I tell him something, and he doesn’t listen and says I’m untrusting of people, and then finds out that I was right and apologizes (happens often).
I [23F] have been dating my bf [26M] for around 1 year now. He is very nice to me. However, as I slowly got to know him more, I’ve realized that he is very stubborn and naive, and trusts people too much. He believes everyone is a good person, and won’t hurt or take advantage of him.For example:
1. My bf constantly leaves money exposed in his car. When I tell him to put the money away or hide it, he says that no one would break into his car to steal a few bucks. I always have to be the one that puts his money away.
2. Around 1 year ago, my bf wanted to rent a place for school. He only looked at one place to rent. That was the place my bf then rented. And lo and behold, my bf ran into a lot of problems with the landlord (e.g., the landlord would eavesdrop on when my bf used water, electricity, be home, etc.)
3. When my bf uses credit card machines, or the ATM, he never covers his password. He believes people are trusting and won’t try to steal his password and other credit card info. I told him countless times to cover his password. He often says “yea, yea, yea” and then doesn’t cover his password the next time he uses a credit card machine, or the ATM; or he tells me to “stop being so paranoid, and untrusting of people”.
4. My bf was having trouble finding an engineering job. So, my bf’s parents told him to meet up with an acquaintance of theirs, who was in his 50’s, whom might be able to help out my bf. Turns out, the acquaintance guy was in a different engineering field. So, he could not help out with finding my bf an engineering job. However, my bf had told me that the acquaintance guy asked my bf to sell some paintings (the guy owns a art gallery on the side). I asked what was in it for my bf, my bf said that the acquaintance guy would get 100% of the profit. But, my bf told me that selling the paintings would give him “selling” experience. I didn’t think it was a good idea, and my bf told me that I was pessimistic and so negative.
5. The same acquaintance guy is going to leave the country for 3 months. He asked my bf to care for his 16-year-old daughter for that 3 months. Before my bf had told me about it, my bf had already agreed and said that he could care for that teenager. I asked my bf what exactly does he need to do, my bf said he didn’t know. My bf didn’t ask that acquaintance guy if he’s responsible for cooking, waking up the teenager, driving her to wherever/whenever she wants to go to, etc. And my bf needs to live with that teenager (the place is in a different city far from where my bf works).
My bf finally asked yesterday what the acquaintance guy meant by “caring for his 16-year-old daughter”. And yes, it is cooking, waking up the teenager, driving her to wherever/whenever she wants to go to, etc. Now, my bf went to me complaining about this situation he’s in. I told my bf to tell the acquaintance guy that he can’t care for his daughter anymore. But, my bf said “I need to keep my word”.
So, my questions are:
Will my bf’s stubbornness and naivety improve over time? Or, are stubbornness and naivety character traits that won’t change?
What should I do, I like my bf, but my bf’s stubbornness and naivety are irritating me. Especially when I tell him something, and he doesn’t listen and says I’m untrusting of people, and then finds out that I was right and apologizes (happens often).
One thought on ““Will his stubbornness and naivety improve over time?””
He’s not going to change or even mature anytime soon. You need to decide if you can stay with a man who doesn’t even respect you enough to listen to you and constantly gets into trouble, because if you marry, it’s going to be YOUR trouble.