“My boyfriend won’t sleep with me”

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about four months now, and recently I feel like he doesn’t find me attractive anymore. When I come home (we live in an apartment together,) I give him a hug and kiss but he won’t respond with the same level of affection.

When we’re in public I wrap my arm around his since he doesn’t grab my hand. And we’re living together, we share a bed in our room but he’s been sleeping in the living room for the past month. He says he can’t stand sleeping there because of my cat’s litter box and he can get sick (he has Crohn’s). I’m ok with that but he’s given me no solution to fix it. I feel like he’s using the litter box/health reason as a way to cover for the fact that he doesn’t want to sleep with me anymore. And the idea of him not finding me attractive kills me. It brings down my already low self-esteem and I go to sleep in tears. We have so much in common and we’re so compatible I don’t want to give up on our relationship. I feel like he is my soulmate, he hasn’t been in a serious relationship before so I try to be patient with him but my patience is running low. I’m tired of feeling depressed. I’m tired of feeling ugly. And I’m tired of going to bed crying. I will take any advice please.

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One thought on ““My boyfriend won’t sleep with me”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Kick him out or move out yourself and next time don’t move in with someone you’ve only been dating 4 months. A year is the earliest you should wait before even considering it! It’s too early in a relationship for him not not want sex and using the cat as a excuse is just that, a excuse. This relationship has already ended.

    I’m not sure where I found this, but here’s a list of things you should discuss before living with someone:

    Articulate at least one reason besides convenience and finances to move in together.
    Save enough money for three months’ rent (security in event of a breakup).
    Reach an agreement on how rent/mortgage and household expenses will be split.
    Discuss your financial situations in detail.
    Be in agreement about potential future steps in your relationship, like marriage and kids, and when you’d like for those to happen.
    Discuss how household chores will be divvied up.
    Clean out your closets and get rid of all the crap you no longer want or need.
    Celebrate a one-year anniversary together.
    Go on a trip together.
    Poop in each other’s homes.
    Spend a whole week together.
    Introduce your pets.
    Decide whose furniture you’re keeping.
    Pick out some new sheets and bedding that complements both your tastes.
    Have an exit strategy (Who keeps the apartment in the event of a breakup? Will the person moving out find a new roommate for the person staying? What about the deposit on the apartment? Etc., etc.).

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