My entire relationship has been a series of “do this and be this way, and we won’t have any problems.” I have a hard time being controlled and breaking down walls to trust people. Finally, after all my efforts and much wear and tear emotionally, I have given in to every request.

That is not the problem, though. My issue is the last two years, I’ve been getting serious. After the ring and time invested with one another’s children, I feel betrayed and manipulated. I have been accepting of him living with his ex and kids half of the week. He would assure me they were done over and over again, yet he had me tip-toeing around her because I shouldn’t “rub it in.”

It recently came to light for her that he and I have been together. She is accepting of it now. Only problem is, he admitted to having sex with her monthly to make sure she was being faithful. Now that he wants to stay fully committed to me, and she knows about who I am, he has stopped and doesn’t want to do it.

Childishly, I’ve left hickies and had him answers my calls ( since before, he couldn’t answer my calls at his house), so he knows I’m not tip-toeing anymore. He’s done almost everything, and now I feel so bitter. I value and respect his honesty, but I don’t know if i can get over it. It’s making me grow angry and makes me not want to be the loving woman that would give him the world like before.

My actions and the way I’m treating him push him away now. He wants to continue living there part time as long as possible, until she grows tiresome. How can I feel better?