Let me just start this off by saying that I made some mistakes here, and they are now glaringly obvious to me now. I’ve spent a large part of my life not willing to put myself out there and take risks when it comes to love, but I’ve resolved to change that and live my life without being controlled by fear.
I met this girl about two years ago, and I’ve been crazy about her for some time. I finally asked her out in May, and she actually said yes. Then when I tried to work out the when and where of going out she started telling me she was busy. I re-iterated to her that I’d still like to take her out, and she re-iterated to me that she was very busy. I guess this is the point where I should have taken a hint, but I didn’t because I guess I didn’t want to. Or because I’m very rusty when it comes to relationships.
I would see her from time to time after that, though I didn’t broach the topic again. However I think it was pretty obvious that I was still interested in her.
And now she’s seeing someone. Someone who I guess she wasn’t too busy for. I realized this recently and I thought I had accepted it, but the other night I went to an event which she and her boyfriend came to. Seeing them together, all lovey-dovey hit me like a train. I’m in a great deal of pain right now because of this. I’m disappointed and sad about the fact that she wasn’t interested in me. I’m angry at myself for not realizing and accepting this earlier. I’m very frustrated and angry at her for saying yes when she didn’t mean it, and not saying anything to me when she could see I still thought there was a chance when there was none.
The crazy thing is that I’d still give my right arm for the chance to go out with her.
Can I please get some advice as to how I should have handled this, or how she should have? I am quite obviously inept when it comes to stuff like this and any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.