“Frustrated by a relationship that never was”

Let me just start this off by saying that I made some mistakes here, and they are now glaringly obvious to me now. I’ve spent a large part of my life not willing to put myself out there and take risks when it comes to love, but I’ve resolved to change that and live my life without being controlled by fear.

I met this girl about two years ago, and I’ve been crazy about her for some time. I finally asked her out in May, and she actually said yes. Then when I tried to work out the when and where of going out she started telling me she was busy. I re-iterated to her that I’d still like to take her out, and she re-iterated to me that she was very busy. I guess this is the point where I should have taken a hint, but I didn’t because I guess I didn’t want to. Or because I’m very rusty when it comes to relationships.

I would see her from time to time after that, though I didn’t broach the topic again. However I think it was pretty obvious that I was still interested in her.

And now she’s seeing someone. Someone who I guess she wasn’t too busy for. I realized this recently and I thought I had accepted it, but the other night I went to an event which she and her boyfriend came to. Seeing them together, all lovey-dovey hit me like a train. I’m in a great deal of pain right now because of this. I’m disappointed and sad about the fact that she wasn’t interested in me. I’m angry at myself for not realizing and accepting this earlier. I’m very frustrated and angry at her for saying yes when she didn’t mean it, and not saying anything to me when she could see I still thought there was a chance when there was none.

The crazy thing is that I’d still give my right arm for the chance to go out with her.

Can I please get some advice as to how I should have handled this, or how she should have? I am quite obviously inept when it comes to stuff like this and any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

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2 thoughts on ““Frustrated by a relationship that never was”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Aw. internet hug
    Rejection does hurt.

    You need to focus on something new now. I know you are hurting from the rejection, but maybe it’s time to start a internet dating account.

    Right now write down what makes you awesome. At least 25 things. Tape that list to a mirror. Just because you guys didn’t work out doesn’t mean you aren’t fabulous. Just that for whatever reason her personality didn’t completely mesh with yours.

    How she should have handled this is now irrelevant and she owes you nothing. Move on and delete or at least block her social media so you’re not faced with lovey dovey more than you have to be. The woman you thought her to be is imagined in your head, because you didn’t get past the early dating stage to find out who she really is.

  2. Jade says:

    Wow. That hurts. But don’t feel bad because you feel that way. It’s okay to to love and hope and get hurt. It’s how life is. The thing is you let yourself feel emotions and it makes you living your life than merely existing. However, in regards with your craziness towards that girl, think of it this way- Love is patient, love is kind, love is selfish. Do not put hate on your good heart, rather find true peace in it. Be happy because she’s happy. But if you cannot do that for her, then there’s no sense on dwelling that bitter feeling because it means you do not truly love her. Try to think that you deserve someone better who will reciprocate your feelings. You deserve to be loved too and someone that would respect you and your feelings. So be the good person you are and keep working to be a better man that’s not afraid and ashamed of his emotions because when the right woman comes, he deserves your best version. Do not let this experience make you someone jaded.

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