My ex-boyfriend and I are still talking (not seeing each other), because we both have feelings for each other. Although we were exclusively dating, I never called him my boyfriend, because I wanted him to change first. After 6 months of dating, he went on vacation with his family and started flirting with another girl. They were both posting pics on Instagram and flirting online. He told me she was his cousin for the whole month he was on vacation. He told me the truth when he came back, but he said he never did anything physical with her and he’s in love with me. According to him, he wanted me to see and get jealous. If that’s the case, I don’t understand why he would tell me she is his cousin, but whatever.
I can’t trust him anymore, and I specifically told him I can’t be with him and that we’re just friends. It’s been 2 months. I feel weak and ashamed that I don’t have the strength to let go of him. I know I need to get him to move on too. I kissed another guy 2 days ago to try to forget about him, which only worked temporarily.
If I tell him I kissed another guy, it would destroy him, he would hate me and never talk to me again. If I don’t tell him that, but we just stop talking, he would have a harder time letting go of me. Is it better to tell him the truth? I don’t know which one would hurt him less, and help him more. It is morally hard for me to lie, but the thought of him hating me is also hard to stomach.