“My ex-boyfriend keeps using me for sex”

I’m heartbroken and tired of being “played with.” My ex and I broke up about two months ago, and I am still devastated. I genuinely feel like he forced me to break up with him, because the moment it was even suggested, he agreed and wouldn’t let me take it back.

I haven’t been living here very long. I moved here a couple of years ago, but, haven’t made very many close friends yet. He was my best, and almost only friend. I am friends with people I work with, but I don’t see them outside of work. He has lived here his whole life and has a good network of friends. While we were together, they were kind of my friends too.

After we broke up, he basically insisted on staying friends. I have tried this in the past and know that this is very hard to do! Basically, the only way for us to stay friends is if we can give each other the space and time we need to move on. I tried telling him this, more than once, but, every time he would have these horrible panic attacks and threaten his own life.

So we are trying to stay friends.

Every time someone flirts with me or asks me out, when I start to act like I’m moving on, he acts weird about it and then seduces me. Every time we sleep together he says it was a mistake and he doesn’t want me back. One time he was cruel enough to tell me that he has been sleeping with other women and that I NEEDED to move on with my life just minutes after intercourse — still naked in his arms. 😥

I feel like the biggest fool on the planet. I still love him, but, really don’t want to! I’m tired of him taking advantage of me, and making me feel stupid afterward.

We have a mutual friend who I am sort of interested in. We were supposed to go to a movie a couple weeks ago. My ex found out and did everything he could to make sure I missed it – and I did. I was too embarrassed to tell my friend the truth. I want to ask him out again, but, I’m scared I’m going to let My ex ruin this for me.

How do i make this stop? I’m really hurting and lonely but I am also tired of being used!

One thought on ““My ex-boyfriend keeps using me for sex”

  1. Anonymous says:

    The first step is realizing that you have a problem so congratulations to understanding this is a unhealthy relationship. You can make it through this.

    You are not responsible for his mental health. Repeat this to yourself. Threatening his own life is just his way of manipulating you to do what he wants. The real person he cares about is HIM and not you or he wouldn’t hurt you like this. This is mental abuse.

    Now, get busy and stay busy. Volunteer for a charity you love, plant things, make art, read books… whatever it takes to stop talking to and obsessing over your ex. You can do this.

    Get angry. That will actually help you move on. If you have to, write a note on your front door that says “My ex is mentally abusive. That ass told he has been sleeping with other women and that I NEEDED to move on with my life just minutes after intercourse — still naked in his arms.”

    Also, put on your big girl panties and apologize to your friend and make it up to them for real. They didn’t deserve that after all they did to help you. That friend is a better person to you than your ex ever was or will be.

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