“I’m not ready to say ‘I love you’ back to him”

So I met this guy a few weeks ago. We met at a bar and we were both a bit drunk. We slept together, sexually and non-sexually, and he made sure I gave him my number. He kept saying he really wanted a text back and for it to not be a one time thing. So we meet up a couple more times, and had sex the first two times we met up again. Since then, it’s mostly been cuddling and talking, with only one other time we’ve had sex, though he kisses and touches a lot. He’s introduced me to his friends, and recently to both his parents. He really wants to meet my parents, recently trying to make arrangements to meet my dad, and wants to meet my son. He’s talked about moving in together, and looking for a place together.

He recently sat down with me and talked about where our relationship heading. We both agreed we liked where we were at, because we both agreed we weren’t ready for anything else. But later, we talked about something that he had hidden from me and said that was why he wasn’t wanting to date seriously. But once he told me about it and I was okay with it, things really changed.

He has said “I love you” multiple times now, I haven’t said it back, and he’s apologized all but the last time, where he just nonchalantly said “Oops.” It didn’t sound very sincere, more rueful and a little sarcastic, but not sincere. More recently, he made a joke about wedding rings and basically said if we were ever married, he made a joking comment about how I would definitely be wearing a ring, and he would probably tattoo his on because he loses everything. He’s also asked me numerous times if I was okay with the way he lived, and if not, he could fix some things.

I am terrified of committing to him, because I’ve had a terrible track record. And I am not ready to say those words back. He’s said that’s okay, because he knows I really like him. But we talked about it a few days ago and we both agreed we didn’t want commitment, we weren’t seeing anyone else but we both liked where things were. Why is he suddenly starting to change things? Or am I seeing things that aren’t there and freaking myself out prematurely?

3 thoughts on ““I’m not ready to say ‘I love you’ back to him”

  1. Dennis Hong says:

    This is what I think you should say to him:

    “Whoa, whoa, there, big guy. Slow down a bit!”

    You may even want to pat him on the head a few times when you say that. And then chuckle loudly to yourself.

    That oughta do it.

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