“I think my boyfriend wants me to be done with him”

My boyfriend and I have been together for four-and-a-half years. Three-and-a-half of those years have been during college, and the last portion we’ve been long distance. I had been living at home while he was still at school finishing up his degree. This past May he moved back home after finishing school. That’s when I noticed things change.

He was going out with friends more, drinking more, no job, no money, turns out he didn’t have a high enough GPA to graduate. He was texting me less, we were barely sexting anymore or talking about our feelings, but when I had a chance to get him on the phone things seemed normal. When I visited him things were normal. He recently asked for space to figure himself out. He said he still loved me but didn’t know if he still wanted to be in the relationship. He said he didn’t want to see other people, but he wanted time to figure himself out.

A week later I found out I had herpes. I called him up and he said he had cheated on me twice with the same girl. One time was about a month prior when he was visiting friends at school. The second time had been the past weekend when we had started taking space. He could barely give me answers. He said he didn’t know how he felt about anything anymore. He didn’t know why he did it, and couldn’t tell me if he wanted to see other people or if he still loved me. He didn’t know a thing. He says he thinks he’s depressed and has started speaking to a therapist.

When I ask if he still loves me he says he needs to talk to someone. He says he doesn’t know if he misses me. It’s hard for me to just be done with him, but I get the feeling he expects me to do that. Has this happened to anyone? I’m hoping that he’ll figure himself out and what he wants and we can finally sit down and talk it out.

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2 thoughts on ““I think my boyfriend wants me to be done with him”

  1. Abe says:

    It sounds like he just wants to have fun but doesn’t have the guts to admit it. He’s young and wants to explore his options. Even though he may say that he doesn’t know, trust me he does know. If he hasn’t tried to make an effort to talk to you or see you its because he either doesn’t care or he’s trying to avoid you. Honestly you should just move on and focus on yourself. Or find someone who appreciates you. There are plenty of guys out there who would love to be with you.

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