“I cheated on my boyfriend”

I cheated on my boyfriend who I’ve been with for five years with one of his friends.
His friend told me months ago he wishes he met me first and how much he liked me. I have slowly been developing feelings for him too, and we ended up having sex. We both instantly felt like garbage afterwards, and we both agreed not to say anything to anyone.

Me and the boyfriend have been doing ok – we live together and I feel we’ve gotten too comfortable with each other. I don’t feel attracted to him as much as I did. I do a lot around the house and pay most of the bills – I sometimes feel like I “take care” of him a lot (he is a couple years younger).

The guilt is getting to me, and  I’m at a loss for what to do. In one way, I want to break up and be alone for a while, then see what happens with me and his friend down the road.
I’m also afraid that I might be giving up something good and I might regret it down the road, but then I think it may be the best.
😦

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3 thoughts on ““I cheated on my boyfriend”

  1. Abe says:

    Your situation sounds very complex. But I believe that you shouldn’t be with someone just because of the length of time that you’ve been together. In time we change, we’re not the same people. Our beliefs, likes, habits change. Maybe you’ve just outgrown each other. Maybe you want to feel that thrill and passion that has faded over time, here is my opinion. I think that you should do what feels right. Trust yourself to know that whatever decision you make is the right one. We all make mistakes, were only human. If you cheated on him that in itself is a sign that things aren’t working. If you were truly happy in your relationship then you wouldn’t have done it in the first place. Maybe you do need some time to yourself. And if you’re the one doing all of the work in the relationship it gets tiring, quick. You only have one life and it is your duty to live it as best as you can. It’s better to regret having done something that to regret not having done it and living with the what if..

  2. Tyler Mayo says:

    I have been dating my girlfriend for four and a half years. I have drunkenly cheated on her three times, with two different girls. I couldn’t bare putting the weight of these mistakes on her so I have tried burying them deep, which has caused my guilt to negatively affect my life in almost every aspect. I can’t tell if I even still love her, or have just gotten comfortable with the fact that we’ve been together for almost five years. We attend different colleges, and recently I met a girl who I am absolutely infatuated with, and I have no idea what to do. It’s odd because my current girlfriend is far more attractive than the new girl I met, but there is some aura to her that drives me crazy. I think about her all the time, we are in two classes together, and we talk pretty consistently. I don’t want to cheat on her again, but I also don’t know if I will regret leaving someone who truly has cared about me for the last 4 and a half years. I’m sorry I don’t have much advice to offer, only that you are not alone, and reading your post has reassured me of the same thing.

  3. T says:

    I have been dating my girlfriend for four and a half years. I have drunkenly cheated on her three times, with two different girls. I couldn’t bare putting the weight of these mistakes on her so I have tried burying them deep, which has caused my guilt to negatively affect my life in almost every aspect. I can’t tell if I even still love her, or have just gotten comfortable with the fact that we’ve been together for almost five years. We attend different colleges, and recently I met a girl who I am absolutely infatuated with, and I have no idea what to do. It’s odd because my current girlfriend is far more attractive than the new girl I met, but there is some aura to her that drives me crazy. I think about her all the time, we are in two classes together, and we talk pretty consistently. I don’t want to cheat on her again, but I also don’t know if I will regret leaving someone who truly has cared about me for the last 4 and a half years. I’m sorry I don’t have much advice to offer, only that you are not alone, and reading your post has reassured me of the same thing.

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