Hello, I need advice to save my relationship. I have been dating this girl for close to three years. I love her with all my heart. She gets mad at me for little things (other girls telling me “happy birthday”, etc.). She would get very mad and block me. She would ignore me for days and no matter what I do, I could not fix it. I’ve tried giving her presents, apologising, admitting it’s my mistake (even though sometimes it’s not). But nothing works. I have accepted her character and love who she is, but things have been going south lately. She’s been getting mad at me every day (up from about once a week), she asked me to un-friend every girl from my Facebook friends, and I did it, to prove that I don t like other girls or talk to other girls at all.
Recently she checked my YouTube history, and she found some videos which have girls in the thumbnail as clickbait, and she is now ignoring me and blocking me again. She is becoming more and more insecure, and I don’t know how to save my relationship.
I have never cheated on her, I never talk to other girls, or even look at other girls. I don’t know why she just doesn’t trust me.
Everything got worse after she found a text between me and my ex. I told her it was in the past, and that she is my future.
I’ve done everything I can think of to save this relationship. Someone please help me. I can’t talk to any of my friends about it. I don t want to shame her. Hope to hear from anyone soon. Please help me save my relationship.
One thought on ““My girlfriend is insanely jealous””
Honestly, I’m not sure what to tell you. I understand that you really love this girl and that you want to fix things with her. I’m not sure you should take the blame when it’s not your fault on such big things…taking the blame for small issues is one thing, taking it for such an important matter could lead her to thing she can manipulate you into crawling your way into her forgiveness…it opens that door and I don’t think you should do it again.
Lets talk about jealous people…I assume I’m jealous, but not to such an extreme level, although I could get a little miffed if I saw comments from other women with certain expressions (such as sending kisses, emoticons with hearts, you know…). The level of jealousy in a case like this, as you alreay understood, depends on how a person feels about herself and I can see you’ve already tried to make her feel better about herself and it apparently didn’t work.
The way I see it she either likes to watch you crawling at her feet whenever she’s feeling insecure (which I’d say is the case, but only you can know) or she’s very very insecure and what you’re doing isn’t working. I guess you can’t tell her to see a psychologist (I know it helped me, so it could help her too) so I’d say you have two options now:
– Have a chat with her where you explain you can’t handle how jealous she is without a reason, repeating how much you love her and how you don’t want any other woman but mention that she needs to work on her jealousy, offer to help her, tell her that whenever she gets mad you’ll immediatly explain and she doesn’t need to be upset. I doubt this approach works because I believe you’ve already tried.
– Stop crawling at her feet: when she gets mad tell her honestly and camly the explanation to whatever made her mad and then stop, don’t go after her, I know it’s easier said than done but it’s the only thing I truly believe will work. If she asks who a certain person is, tell her the truth and why the person talked to you, if she asks where you went tell her and explain what you went there to do, but don’t give the whole details on who was there, etc, explain with few words but with honesty. After you answered her question and explained stop talking about it, if she stops talking to you let her be, she will come back for sure, or else she doesn’t deserve your dedication. This will take some time to work, you’ll need to be strong, but I’m pretty sure it could do the trick…what can you loose anyway, right?
This is getting really long but I just wanted to tell you that it’s good to see that you’re trying hard to make her happy, doing your best to take her insecurities away. Also there are people who can only feel good by making others crawl after them, it happens and they can change, but they need to see what they are doing and actually want to change.
I hope things get better for you!