Hi everyone, I have known this shy guy when I first started university. When we were still strangers I noticed he kept trying to look at me in class and around campus, because we often took the same bus + train home. I had a crush on him too but I was too shy to approach him. It took me five weeks to build courage and finally talk to him. In our first talk he was talking very normally and serious, however I could see his leg shaking and he even ran away when the train came. I could tell he was very shy and I didn’t mind that so over one year I kept approaching him first to talk (like once a month), but he spoke very coldly and dead everytime and he would never talk to me first. However he kept staring and trembling when I was near. At the end of year, I even tried to give him a confession letter but he refused to receive it as soon as I handed the envelope to him so I embarrassingly took it back and we pretended nothing happened, I don’t know if he really knew what the envelope was. After that, we lost contact and I changed campus. One day (after 9 months), I randomly saw him around campus and he look very happy but we still talked very normally, like about school and stuff. To make a long story short, I then coincidentally bumped into him many times and after two years of knowing him, he finally asked for my mobile number, which was very surprising. He would ask me out after classes but not very frequently and I did the same sometimes and would text him to go out. But everytime it was just talk about school. He was still talking coldly sometimes but seemed nervous. This situation went on for another year or so. It was slow and painful but I told myself he was just shy and he did try because if he didn’t like me he wouldn’t text me first since he rarely talks to girls. And he was VERY different towards me compared to other people.
So recently, I started asking him more personal questions like views on relationships and it felt like he also opened up to me more. I thought we were getting somewhere because he even wanted to attend my graduation ceremony without me asking first (he delayed his graduation). He told me his parents were divorced and he would just find some random girl he likes and get married when he’s 30 years old. He told me he was very ambitious and relationships are like nothing to him now. I felt quite hurtful towards that, if he didn’t want a relationship why was he holding onto me and playing along with me for over 3.5 years? I’m only in my early twenties, and I’m not confident that he will be with me when he’s 30. What if I did wait for him but he just marries another girl? He then went on saying he would go clubbing and have multiple partners if he had the opportunity and he didn’t mind marrying a girl who would cheat. I was totally in shock, I didn’t know if he really meant that or he was just lying as he often said some small lies to me in the past. His talk was totally absurd. He even rudely told me at one point that I was talking too loud. He was rude in a similar way to me in the past but I just took it as something to hide his nervousness. I know I keep making excuses for him sigh. After the talk he texted me saying it was nice meeting up! and sorry if he offended me. I seriously don’t know how to deal with him anymore or what is he thinking. I really like him but I don’t know if he is worth the wait. Does he even want to be with me? Please help me and tell me the possible reasons for his behaviour 😦 Thank you so much!