What is a good email introduction for Online Dating

I was wondering what would be a good thing to say in an introductory email for an online dating site. I have tried many things and rarely ever get a reply. I have made comments on their profile blurb, stated similar interests in common. Made silly flirtatious jokes, told them I liked their pictures. And plain just said check me out and drop me a line. I am a cute petite lady 5’3″ very fit and active. I think I’m cute. I’ll tell you what I’m not. I am not 5’9″ with long silky blonde hair and huge boobs. The few meetings I have had I’ve been told that I am very attractive. I am very confident and have my act together. So I just don’t get it. I could send out 10 email a week and for the past year have met for coffee maybe 6 times tops. So what should I say to get someone at least interested in meeting me for coffee? Any suggestions?

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4 thoughts on “What is a good email introduction for Online Dating

  1. Matt Sanchelli says:

    [Hey SIllySDgal.

    First off, don’t get down on not being 5’9” with silky blonde hair and big boobs. Being 5’3”, petite, active, and fit…not a bad thing at all. As some of my friends often say to me…that’s essentially my type. I’m 5’11” and most women I’ve dated have been about 5’4” and petite. So…there’s that. Own what and who you are, don’t look at it as a pitfall.

    From what you describe it doesn’t sound like you’re doing anything wrong. In my personal opinion, the best way for a woman to prompt a response from me (in a message) is to make it personal.

    You seem to already be doing this, so I say keep it up.

    Don’t make it too long. Best “process” is like this: Introduce yourself. Then in no particular order mention some things you liked in his profile. Perhaps you have some common interests, or maybe he’s done something you’ve always want to do. From there ask a couple questions. Men love providing recommendations on things so maybe go that route.

    The thing with online dating, which I’m sure you know, it’s more than just about the message you send. If you don’t mind, what’s your profile like? Humorous? Epic-novel length? Hardly filled out? Do you make any demands or snarky comments toward men (who have been a$$holes)?

    What about your profile pictures? How many do you have up? Do they show a various aspects of your personality? Are you smiling in most of them?

    I really wish there were more that I could give as advice specifically regarding your question, “what should I say to get someone at least interested in meeting me for coffee?” But to be honest with you, and I’m sure most other guys here who have dealt with online dating will agree, this is the precise boat we deal with every day.

    Like you, I believe I send good messages, have a good profile, have been told I’m attractive and in some cases even “quite a catch”. Yet, when it comes to getting responses from online dating sites and the average is typically somewhere around 1 response for every 15-25 sent out.

    My personal advice, just keep at it and don’t get frustrated. Again, it sounds like you’re sending out decent messages.

    I hope this helped a bit.

  2. Dennis Hong says:

    [Pretty much what Matt said. Honestly, without more information, it could be a host of factors. You do have to keep in mind, though, that online dating is a numbers game. There are SO many profiles out there, and everyone has SO many options. You just can’t count on getting the same “rate of return” as in real-life dating.

  3. Solstice says:

    [I feel you – out of the last 20 messages I’ve sent, only one has gotten a response, and then that guy deleted his profile after we sent a couple of messages back and forth. I used to get a better response rate, so I guess it’s just bad luck lately, but it’s been making me feel pretty down. I revamped my profile and sent out a couple of messages, to guys who “respond often”, and even they didn’t respond. Made me kind of sad. But whatever, they’re the ones who are missing out, right?

    Good luck, and just remember that it is a numbers game, as Dennis said. I hope things will go well with the guy you went out with who you’ve been emailing with! Oh, and in my messages, I usually mention a couple of things in their profile that I liked or found interesting, ask them questions, ask them how long they’ve lived in the area, etc. Although maybe I should start trying a different tactic, since that hasn’t seemed to work recently.

  4. phat heart says:

    [I dislike online dating for this reason exactly – it’s a numbers game. And love shouldn’t be about how many dates you go on, or how many star ratings you get from someone, or how many messages you send out.

    In my opinion – time spent online sending messages could better be used doing interesting things – or going out and meeting people in real life. I do understand that working full time and having kids significantly lessens the amount of free time one has to meet people – and that often the only time you have is when the kids go to bed.

    Online dating for me made me incredibly shallow. I was spending hours reading profiles and sending witty responses and emails that feel on deaf ears. I was trying out new ‘strategies’ and ‘tactics’ to get people to respond.

    The fact is I wasn’t being myself. I stopped online dating – and started being open to the universe providing me with what I needed – whenever that happened to be. I started taking care of myself – and doing interesting things – and interacting with people in real life.

    I’m not bashing online dating – I have great friends who meet online and are happy as can be – but it’s not the only thing out there.

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