Am I being hypocritical, or is my lady?

Hi all,

I’ve been together with my lady for a while now, and things have gotten pretty routine. I know that sounds kind of mean, but I don’t want it to. The trouble started a little while ago when we were almost unfaithful to each other.

I know that this will be judged harshly, but we were together for so long, maybe too long, and I was getting tired of her. I was reading and came accross a personal ad that just caught my attention. It’s like it was written just for me.

I wasn’t thinking about her sleeping in the bed right next to me, I just impulsively replied to the ad. We made plans to meet the next day.

Here’s where it gets complicated; I waited at O’Malley’s for this mystery woman that I was set to just throw everything away for. Then it turns out that it was her. She took out the personal ad. The ad that I was so quick to answer, she was the one to place it in the first place.

We laughed about it at first, but then things got a little tense as the days went on. She was mad at me for answering a personal ad and planning to leave her for someone I didn’t even know. I’m mad at her because why was she even taking out a personal ad in the first place?

Do I have a right to be mad about this? I think that I do. She was planning to be unfaithful. She says I have no right to be upset because I wasn’t being honest. But she wasn’t either! She doesn’t even like pina coladas!

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9 thoughts on “Am I being hypocritical, or is my lady?

  1. Maracuya says:

    [I’ve always thought that the ending to the song (they laugh, oh ho, it was you!) was a little unrealistic. Thanks for letting me know what happens after!

  2. EricaSwagger says:

    [Here’s the deal.
    You’re both wrong. You’re both bored and you’re both looking for some excitement. You both need to do some serious thinking about WHY you BOTH were looking elsewhere. And by the way, you’re BOTH being hypocritical.

    It doesn’t matter who did what first, the facts are that you were both planning on being unfaithful, be it physically or emotionally or whatever, and that says a lot about you as a couple.
    So have the conversation.
    Clearly something is missing for both of you. People who are 100% happy in their relationships don’t usually take out personal ads or answer them.

  3. Kitte Lishuss says:

    [She took out a personals ad to find a different mate, and you answered it to find a different mate. Time to put a fork in your relationship, it’s done! Stop trying to pinpoint who’s at fault and move on with your separate lives. This kind of situation rarely improves with time.

  4. DavidIsGreat says:

    [I don’t really know what to say about your situation. It sounds as if you’re getting caught in the rain on this one.

  5. lilredbmw says:

    [So, you are both at fault. Period. You should stop playing the blame game because you both would lose(or win, depending on how you see things). I guess there are a few ways to look at this. One, you are both stagnant in the relationship and it is time to move on. This whole thing was a sign that you two both wanted out. Or you can view it another way. You can see it as a sign that you two are meant to be together. Even when you were considering getting out of the relationship, she was still there. You were going to leave her, for HER! So door one or door two?

  6. DavidIsGreat says:

    [I find it’s helpful to escape into some sort of creative activity outlet.

    Maybe you could write a song about this experience.

  7. resullins says:

    [I agree with all the commenters that are stating that you are both being incredibly hypocritical. You both went outside of your relationship looking for something else. It doesn’t matter who did what, or when, you both fucked up.

    You both need to take a SERIOUS step back to reevaluate. I completely understand getting an itch every once in a while… that happens in all relationships. But you acted on it, and that’s a much different story.

    Separate, think, prioritize, and decide where to go. You both need to figure out whether you really are happier staying together.

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