This is a bit of a messed up situation – but Im getting lost in my own made up thoughts, and ideas and need some help.
My boyfriend omitted some serious information ( female friend living with him for a while; he agreed to this when we broke up earlier this year) to me when we got back together, and I found out because SHE got curious and messaged me on Facebook. How did she pick me out of over 900 ppl he’s friends with? I don’t know but I don’t blame her! Turns out she’s 19 and they have mutual family friends and she’s under the impression that she’s his gf. Why is she under this impression? He says she likes him, and has a crush on him.
Now – Im 27 as is he, and I remember being 19 and young and impressionable, but he swears to me that nothing has happened and that she is living on the couch. He was away from home for about a month, so he assumed that while he was doing that, she was looking for other accommodations. Apparently, all the information I’ve received from her ( they’ve been dating since march, shes met his parents, she’s living there permanently) is false, and she’s delusional.
I have dated tons, and I mean TONS of douchebags, and he is not one of them. I can usually figure this out quite soon, and aside from some scheduling conflicts when we first started dating due to work commitments, we have been a strong couple.
He is asking me to trust him, he wants to be with me, no one else and I want to believe him. Im at the point right now, where I do love this man, and perhaps he did say some things he shouldn’t have to an impressionable 19 year old, however is it worth just throwing it all away and not trusting him based on my past experiences?
Im tempted to just tell him to deal with it, and deal with whatever situation he has got himself into QUICKLY, and then be with me, as he’s said he wants to be. Regardless of what the ‘truth’ behind the story is, he chooses me, and crawled back to me begging for forgiveness for not telling me about her staying there.
Im torn between my heart ( telling me to love him and trust him no matter what) and my mind ( which is protecting my heart and telling me to be beyond careful and don’t trust).
I have never been in a situation where I choose to turn a blind eye to a possible sticky situation that arose while I wasn’t in the picture. No matter what the issue is with her, he wants to be with me. End of story.
I see a future with this man, one beyond Christmas ( haven’t thought that in over 7 years), and it breaks my heart to think that Im being an idiot about all of this, but on the other hand, it would break my heart to never speak to him again because some asshole in my past shattered my trust in men.
Should I trust him to deal with the situation and move on, working on our communication and full disclosure as he’s fully volunteered to do? Or should I just tell him to shove it, and move on without him?