Does this guy like me, and if so, do I call him?

I developed a crush on my teacher (a graduate assistant 4 years older than me, both of us over 25 – nothing scandalous!) in January of this year. While I was in his class, I had a boyfriend so I never showed any interest or tried to get to know him, but now that I am single (4 months in) I am curious about how I should approach getting in contact with him, or if I should at all.

He has always been friendly, shared personal stories with me, and been somewhat flirty – remembering things I said and referencing them, joking around with me during class, coming up to me to say hi when he sees me around town, and giving me a tour of his studio space.

I didn’t see him over the summer, but recently ran into him at a school function. For the hour that I was there, he talked to me the entire time, said we should hang out, and put his number in my phone. I generally get the vibe that he is interested, but he is never TOO overt (no compliments on how I look or telling me he wants to take me on a date or anything). The way he treats me could be deemed “friendly” by anyone who wants to look at it that way.

A good friend of mine told me recently that she was under the impression that he was dating someone long-term. I have never seen him with a girl, and he never mentioned having a girlfriend in the time that I’ve known him – she wasn’t in stories, or referenced at any point. I was getting the idea that he was single and possibly interested, so this threw me for a loop.

I texted him with information about a school event, which he quickly responded to, and it became a short and fun conversation about 4 days ago. We haven’t talked again since. I am wondering if I should try contacting him again. If he has a girlfriend, I DO NOT want to interfere, but I have no way of knowing (he doesn’t have a Facebook profile and we don’t have mutual friends, aside from the one who is unsure of his status).

I consider getting a hold of him just to make plans to do something, or to say hi… but then I think, he has my number now too. Should I wait to see if he initiates anything? Should I show him that I am interested? – (over the course of this, he has shown some interest in me but I really haven’t shown much in him, since I had a boyfriend for most of the time I’ve known him). Do I try to sneak in a question to see if he is single? I am sitting by my phone itching to talk to him, but I don’t want to make a fool of myself if I show interest and he didn’t mean it in that way, or potentially be seen in some kind of “home-wrecker” light if he in fact has a girlfriend and she sees me contacting him.

10 thoughts on “Does this guy like me, and if so, do I call him?

  1. Solstice says:

    [Listen, your friend was only “under the impression” that he was dating someone long term. She could’ve been wrong, or the relationship could’ve ended. Outright asking if he’s single might be kind of awkward., so just go with the assumption that he’s not seeing anyone. It seems like he might be into you. Either get in touch with him and suggest hanging out, or see if he gets in touch if you don’t want to be that forward. When a guy puts his number into your phone, it’s usually not in an “I only want to be friends” way, so that seems like a good sign to me!

  2. Joanna says:

    [I’d say if he took the time to put his number into your phone, then he wants you to call/text him/whatever the kiddies do on their phone these days.

  3. DavidIsGreat says:

    [What’s the worst that could possibly happen if you call him? He’s unavailable or uninterested.

    I say go for it. Carpe diem! Seize the fish!

  4. Jasmine says:

    [Call him. Make a move. Stop over thinking it- if he is off the market, he’ll tell you. If he doesn’t call back, he’s not interested. The only way to know is to stop sitting on your phone and let him know you are interested and on the market!

  5. Happy Pants says:

    [Definitely call him or ask him out. Make some sort of move. If he hasn’t mentioned a girlfriend in all the time you’ve known him, he probably doesn’t have one.

    But since you’ve said that he hasn’t done anything that could be considered outright flirting with you, keep in mind that he may be single and just friendly, i.e. just not into you that way. But you won’t know unless you go for it.

  6. Jacs77 says:

    [Tell him you are interested. Honesty is the best policy. The worst that can happen is he will tell you right then and there he has a gf and thats that. If you choose to remain friends after that, thats your call, but I doubt that will happen.

    Nothing better than just being upfront and cutting to the chase in a situation like this, otherwise mixed signals happen, and it just gets messy.
    Good luck!

  7. karlos says:

    [Well he’s a teaching assistant right? So he’s pretty smart, so text him in riddle form. Go proper Dr Suess on his ass.

    Also if he does have a girlfriend, she won’t understand, so it’s win win.

  8. faraday says:

    [I’m not an advocate of asking a guy out for the first time. Second, third? Totally! But first? Not so much.

    Send him a text, start a conversation….make your interest apparent…and if he’s interested, he will ask you out.

  9. lilredbmw says:

    [You could just ask him out. Or…you could ask him to hang out doing something casual, like meeting for coffee or hiking. Something that could be a date, or could just be two friends hanging out. Then, the subject could be brought up in a more casual, unassuming way. The latter is the approach I would take because I am a chicken and don’t ever want to put myself out there for fear of rejection or embarrassment. So, it’s up to you. Take the plunge and just ask him out or be a chicken(like me) and kind of dance around it until you get the answer you need. Your call.

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