My girlfriend wants to go out with a guy who asked her out…

I have been dating a really cool girl for about 3 months now. Things seem to be going really well. Until a few days ago…

My girlfriend works at a large company and befriended a male co-worker, who eventually asked her out. He asked her out before we were ever an item. She declined, because she wasn’t interested in him. He is too old for her(in her opinion) and she wasn’t cool with the fact he has a kid. But, they still work together and remained friends. And now he knows she is dating me.

The other day she let me know that she was going to play lazer tag with this guy and his kid next weekend(they haven’t gone yet). She said she was just really interested in lazer tag. Well, I could take her to play lazer tag if she really just wants to play lazer tag. I really am not cool with it. It just seems weird to me. I don’t know if I am over-reacting or if I am justified in feeling like this is odd. What are your opinions on this??

8 thoughts on “My girlfriend wants to go out with a guy who asked her out…

  1. DavidIsGreat says:

    [Question for clarification. Are you guys exclusive, or “going steady” as they used to say? If you think you are, does she know/agree?

  2. Jasmine says:

    [Red flag city. Then again, she already made it clear before you two were even dating that she wasn’t interested in this guy romantically. Can’t you lazer tag along? If she won’t let you join them, then you have something to really worry about. If you do go, just be cool. No one likes to play lazer tag with a jerk.

  3. Solstice says:

    [I agree with Jasmine. You could tell her “Let’s go play laser tag ourselves this weekend/next week/ whenever”. If she insists on going with that guy, then ask if you can go along. If she gets all huffy about it, then I feel like that’s a sign that something’s up. If she honestly isn’t interested in the guy, then she shouldn’t care about getting to hang out with him alone.

  4. Happy Pants says:

    [I agree that it’s weird. But the thing is, she told you about it, which is great if it’s nothing sinister, but really effed-up if it is. Is she actually considering this a date? Are you guys in an “official” relationship (i.e. does she know you call her your girlfriend, does she call you her boyfriend, etc.)? You’re in a tricky area, because it’s only 3 months in, and talking to her about it might raise red flags for her, as in she might start thinking you get jealous easily, when all she’s doing is playing laser tag with a coworker. You don’t have a whole lot of “claim” (man, I hate that word in this context, but you get what I mean) on her at this point. So, like the others have said, rather than coming at it from a “what’s going on, I don’t like this” approach, try asking her if you can go along.

    It’s kind of odd—not the hanging out with a male coworker part, but the hanging out with a male coworker who’s asked her out before and has a kid part. I mean, I’ve hung out with older male coworkers before, totally platonically, and I don’t think that’s weird at all. It’s possible she just sees it from that point of view and is totally forgetting the weird part. …..Or maybe not.

  5. karlos says:

    [Ask to go along, then absolutely kick this guy and his kids ass at lazer tag. Assert yourself as the alpha male, show dominance.

    Plus lazer tag is fun.

  6. Matt Sanchelli says:

    [HP brings up a good point that was circling my mind as well. Are you and she both on the same page in the relationship; her knowing you refer to her as your girlfriend.

    I wouldn’t be too concerned with bringing this up to her, but do address it lightly (as everyone else above has mentioned). I agree with asking if you can join them, “Hey, that actually sounds like it would be a lot of find. Mind if I join you?”

    The only reason this situation strikes me as “difficult” is just because of the fact he has asked her out before. Sure, she shot him down and hopefully he is respecting that and just approaching this entire thing as two co-workers/friends going out.

    Don’t jump to any conclusions yet regarding her (or his) intentions. See how she reacts to wanting to join them and calmly take it from there (particularly if she is adamant about you not going).

    I would say one thing that you may want to be prepared for is making sure it is known, to her, that you trust her. *hopefully that is the case* She has proven this to you by turning this guy down before. The thing that makes you “uncomfortable” with the entire situation is not necessarily trusting his intentions.

    Good luck. I hope it is just a friendly outing.

  7. AKchic says:

    [Other posters have the right idea here – are you guys on the same page in your relationship? If you are “going steady” (as we used to say) (and I think they were phasing that out in my teens and just calling it the ubiquitous “couple” or “hooking up” designations), then yeah, I can understand the whole red flag alerts hitting you’re brain. Dude was interested (and is probably still interested). Bringing the kid into the mix to attempt to get her maternal juices flowing and her protective, nurturing nature into play to try to get her to date him is a smarmy, manipulative move (is he related to my 1st husband, by any chance?).

    Ask to tag along. Say you really want to play too. It sounds awesome and you think it’s great that she and her co-worker can associate outside of work without complications, especially since he asked her out that one time. (Note, do not do this with him there)

    If she doesn’t let you, then there is a red flag.

  8. Solstice says:

    [Any updates on this? I’m curious to hear if you asked your girlfriend if you could come along.

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