So, what do you do when you find out that the person you thought you wanted to spend the rest of your life with tells you that they are only moderately attracted to you…but that they can still see themselves marrying you? I mean…what? How do you get over that? Or do you just walk away? I’m losing my shit, here. Help.
LemonVibe 
[You recognize that you are worth more than marrying someone who is only “moderately attracted” to you and you GTFO before you waste any time, money, and especially emotions marrying someone who does not think you are the greatest effing person in this entire effing universe.
[You leave, but before you do, you hand him an industrial-sized bottle of Pepto-Bismol for his obviously horrendous case of verbal diarrhea. Clearly that’s the only explanation there is for saying that to your significant other, unless he’s a complete idiot. In which case… yeah, still leave.
[Does this email that I received this morning help clarify anything (if even just my confusion)?:
I wish I could promise you a fairy tale. I wish I could tell you that our story ends at “happily ever after”. I wish I could tell you that we just have too overcome this 1 contrived plot point, and once we do, everything will be perfect forever and ever, amen.
I wish I could promise you that well figure out a solution, that this will all work out in the end.
But you know I can’t.
Yet I believe that we will work it out. I do. I have no proof that we’ll figure this out, I have no proof that we’re meant for each other. But, I believe that were meant for each other. I have faith in it.
What else do I know? I know that you’re the most compassionate, caring person I’ve ever been with. I know that when I’m with you, I never want to stop being with you. I know that when I’m not with you, I think about you and miss you. I know that, after every disagreement or fight that we’ve had, I still want to be with you. I know that the thought of spending the rest of my life with you makes me happy — not scared, not sad. (OK, maybe a little nervous but I’m pretty sure that’s normal.) I know that I’ve never loved anyone like I love you. I know that I want to be with you.
I just wish we could focus on what we do know not what we don’t know. Because there’s always going to be a ton of stuff that we don’t know.
[Oh dear – I can’t even imagine how you are feeling. As hard as it may be, though, you should end things. The person you marry should be someone you’re very attracted to. And while you may be very attracted to them, if you get married neither one of you will be happy. You’ll know how they feel about you, and you’ll constantly be self-conscious about whether or not you’re being attractive enough to them/for them. And they won’t be happy because they’re only “moderately attracted” to you. You definitely deserve better.
[Listen, I completely agree with all of the above comments. And it’s no wonder you are loosing your shit. I just have a question: is your SO saying they don’t feel chemistry, or a “Spark” with you, or was your SO just trying to tell you (in a really bad way) that they want you to get in shape, or dress up more; make yourself more attractive, in other words? I know that it’s been discussed on this forum before how to let your partner know in a delicate way that you are just not sexually attracted to that extra 10 pounds they gained. Because, that’s a different issue.
If it’s a “spark” issue, don’t compromise on that- unless you just want to be a “beard.”
[Ouch. I think I would be glad it was said now, and not later. And if you really look at it, at least he was honest. Not everyone is attracted to everyone. So if he isn’t attracted to you physically, oh well. His loss. Truly, I would rather be attractive emotionally than physically. But, with that being said, it’s not worth spending the rest of your life with someone who isn’t attracted to you both physically, emotionally and in every other way. Walk now. Maybe you two will end up being great friends, because that’s what it sounds like you two are best at.
[*snort* You realize that you aren’t Halle Berry and quit stressing.
Look, not everyone is the epitome of superficial beauty. Not everyone falls in love with someone for their outer beauty. You found someone who found you somewhat attractive on the outside, but truly loved you for your mind, your heart, your soul. And you’re pissed because he happened to admit that he only found your body to be Lisa Kudrow to Miranda Kerr. Get over yourself and thank the Gods that he’s not superficial and he loves you for you. Then realize that YOU are being superficial.
[I think there are probably plenty of people who are in relationships with individuals that they aren’t super attracted to physically anymore, for whatever reason. They probably have a foundation for a relationship and are satisfied in plenty other areas, and the physical attraction isn’t so big of a deal to really impact the relationship.
But even if these people aren’t attracted to their SO much anymore, I’m sure most of them are still tactful and smart enough NOT TO TELL THEM THAT so bluntly. Sure, honesty is the best policy or whatever, but this just seems kind of cruel. I think the context might help and might change how that statement can be taken, but I think I would be most concerned with the fact that your SO seems to care so little for your feelings.
I think this might also be something where you want to look beyond the surface level too. Why the hell did they tell you this? Did they really think it so important that you didn’t continue to believe a lie, safely assuming that your partner finds you attractive? Or maybe are they using it as an excuse for something else? Are they getting that wedge in there because they are toying with the idea of breaking up?
I think this is something that you should really talk to your partner about. Not only get across to them that it’s kind of rude and tactless, but also examine why they felt the need to tell you in the first place.
[Thanks everyone, for your comments. I appreciate that you can step back and look at the information objectively, and not with your heart. I need to clarify that this was over a discussion about our sex life. It’s not awesome. He was not a dick about anything, but we were brainstorming about what the underlying issues were.
I wish it were as easy at GTFO or getting over myself. I fully realize that I’m no Halle Berry, and that’s not the issue. It seems like it’s more of “I think you’re beautiful, but I’m not that sexually attracted to you,” type of thing.
He told me that the girls that he’s had mindblowing sex with were all bad relationships, and the mindblowing sex was due to having a volatile relationship. He also suggested that it might be “scent” driven. Yes, I know – every girls dream: I don’t like how your vagina smells or tastes. I shower, people. It’s not yeast, it’s not BV, it’s me. I’ve never encountered this with anyone else.
OUTSIDE of the bedroom, we are literally living my dream relationship. I honestly am torn. Is this something that can be worked on, or is it fundamentally flawed?
[My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips’ red:
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask’d, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound.
I grant I never saw a goddess go:
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground.
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.