Is it better to have loved and lost…

So, is the old adage true? Is it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all? Or does the pain you feel during a breakup or after being rejected outweigh the happiness of being in a relationship? Is it worth it to have been on a great date if you never see that person again and are upset by it, or would it have been better for your overall emotional health if you’d never met that person?

6 thoughts on “Is it better to have loved and lost…

  1. lilredbmw says:

    [Do you see the glass as half full or half empty? Was the chicken or the egg first? If a tree falls in the forest…??

    To me, I would rather have loved and lost. But most of my relationships have ended pretty well, with little to no drama and no extra baggage involved(divorces, kids, property, etc). So for me, I have loved and lost but the love has always out-weighed the loss, and I have been able to look back and recall all the great things about the relationship. For many, the loss is so awful or hurtful, that it is pretty challenging to even remember why you loved the person in the first place.

    I guess it all depends on your outlook, but I would prefer to have loved and then lost, but at least have had the experience of love. Because love is a lovely thing.

  2. Matt Sanchelli says:

    [Personally I do not think this adage is true at all.

    Regardless of the reason for the loss (good break-up, bad break-up, death, etc.) that particular moment of ‘bad’ does not outweigh any of the good that happened while that particular individual was in your life.

    I think, as a society, there is too much focus on negativity (just watch the news). We are drawn to bad things, to drama. It’s the ‘slowing-down-to-look-at-a-car-wreck’, or even watching the Kardashians (a completely different kind of wreck).

    We learn from our experiences, both the good and bad. The gains and losses. Without them we would never grow, adapt and learn.

    Plus, I’m an old-school romantic. I would rather love (truly love) and should I end up losing that person in my life at least I know that for however long of a time I had them I knew it was pure and well worth doing all over again.

  3. Happy Pants says:

    [I look at it this way: if it weren’t for dating and relationships, I’d be sitting on the couch watching horrible TV and feeling sorry for myself, inevitably surrounded by thirteen cats, two of them resting on my ever-ballooning stomach, until I eventually died of a coronary because of all the Ben & Jerry’s I’d eat and all the baked goods I’d make…and then eat with friends as I bitched about how it sucks to be on my own for so long.

    But seriously, even with the tears, the arguments, the dick moves (from both parties), it’s still worth it. Every person you meet brings something new to your life, and even though I’ve been seriously hurt by how past relationships ended, I’m so glad I met those people, had some really great times with them, and learned something about them and myself in the process.

    Finally, I’m going to quote a Barbara Streisand movie here (please don’t stone me to death, I promise it’s applicable): “Why do people want to fall in love, when it can have such a short run and be so painful? … While it does last, it feels fucking great.”

  4. Joanna says:

    [I think having loved and lost specifically pertains to death of a lover, most probably in a war. But don’t quote me on that. Whenever I hear people say that it brings to mind WW I & II era movies about young lovers being separated and the men always dying.

  5. karlos says:

    [Well my dad always used to say “Son, I know your mums cooking is bad, but just eat it, because then you get cake”.

    The relationship is the cake and the break up is the dinner. Sure it may be hard to swallow, leave a bad taste in your mouth or make you want to punch your tongue, but it’s only temporary.

    Then again when my parents divorced he called my mum a bitch, so maybe he was full of shit.

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