I’ve been talking a lot recently with friends about compromise in relationships. It was set off by the topic of dating or marrying someone more or less religious than you are, what sorts of things you would be willing to put up with, what you absolutely wouldn’t, etc. I think religion is a little different than figuring out how to deal with your boyfriend’s football addiction, or your girlfriend’s feng shui obsession, but it all does come down to compromise and what’s most important to you, right?
So where do you stand on religious compromise? If you’re observant, would you be willing to date or marry someone who wasn’t? And if you’re not, would you be willing to date or marry someone who was? Do you purposefully seek out people who are more or less religious than you are? I think it depends a lot on the person in question and the level of religiosity, but I thought it might be an interesting topic for discussion (and I can add my $.02 once the discussion gets rolling…).
LemonVibe 
[Hmm, this is a good one. I don’t attend church regularly, like I used to, but even when I used to, I wasn’t necessarily looking for someone who was more religious. I’d probably prefer to date someone Catholic or Christian just because it would make things easier in the long run, especially when it comes to potentially raising children. But I wouldn’t rule out people of other religions or non-religious people. If I was with someone of a different religion or a non-religious person, we’d have to discuss how we wanted to raise any potential children before marriage. If they refused to incorporate any part of my religion, I wouldn’t be okay with that, but I’d be willing to try to blend religions.
[I wouldn’t mind dating someone who was religious, but the problem would come when we had kids. I would NEVER allow my children to be raised with strict religious teachings.
I once got broken up with by a strict Jew because I had tattoos and could not be buried in a Jewish cemetery. Therefore, he knew we could never get married, and could not go anywhere… as a couple.
I just think it’s SO much easier to find someone that shares your beliefs. Because in my head, sharing religious beliefs goes hand in hand with finding a significant other. So I’m not sure I would ever WANT to date someone with significantly different religious views than me.
Also, everything I said above can also go ahead and stand for Political Views as well.
[During my 1st marriage, my husband claimed he was a Catholic (lapsed at best). Thing is, I doubt he truly believed it. It was a way to act the conservative, controlling, “women are property” bullshit. If he hadn’t been a racist, I’m sure he would have claimed he was Muslim to do the same thing.
My 2nd husband was an athiest.
I’m pagan. From a long line of pagans (who converted due to pressure), and felt that it was right for me. My current SO was agnostic but started exploring his own religious identity when we started dating.
I raise my kids to know about all religions, not just paganism. They can believe whatever they want. That is their choice.
I’m the type that says “live and let live” when it comes to religion. As long as folks don’t try to convert me, preach to me, or generally use their religious views to hound me – I’m happy. I do the same. But let me tell you, nothing pisses off a door-to-door religious “salesman” more than bringing up the Mary Magdalene “heresy”. I do it specifically to get them off my porch.
[For me, I guess I’d like to meet someone who was just religiously accepting of my personal beliefs on the subject. Meaning, I believe that any of my future children should have a religious foundation (determined by their mother and I) but in the end I want my children to be able to take that knowledge and information and come to their own conclusions on what they choose to believe and what they don’t.
Obviously because of my relatively open-natured perspective on religion I have actually been less desirable to those who are very religious and have a strict plan on how things should be and what should be believed as fact (or fiction).
[I’m not religious, but as long as people don’t act like dicks they’re a okay in my books.
Beliefs are like grenades, you can toss them around and share them if you like, hell you can even give them to your kids as long as you explain that they’re very sensitive and hard to control. Just don’t try to take them apart to see how they work. All you’re going to do get confused and see a lot of stuff blow up in your face.
The only line I’d draw is with someone who’s aggressive with their beliefs and in todays society, those people tend to be athiests. There’s just a sense of entitlement athiests seem to have that seems to give some of them the idea that they can shit all over peoples beliefs because they repost image macros pointing out religious inaccuracies on Facebook.
Basically, I’m not willing to compromise on my right to be impartial and sit on the fence, because, damn, the fence is comfy.
[I find most people wont marry someone they don’t think they will spend the afterlife with (which seems to miss the point entirely)
Interestingly enough, I have only found chemistry with men who happen to feel the same I do about religion.
I need to respect my partner and know they respect me- and part of that is knowing that our points of view match up.
[Having a partner with a defined religion was not important to me when I was looking for a partner. I didn’t really care what religion you were, as long as you had a faith in G-d and would be willing to accept my “religious” beliefs. The tricky part does come when you have children. So, I needed to find someone who shared the same ideas when it came to a cohesive unit raising a child. I believe in religious freedom and sought out a person who felt the same. So, yes, I believe religion plays a part in relationships, but what matters even more is how the person is living. If you are “Christian” but you are an awful person, who cares that you said you were Christian?