Dating someone older?

I know typically men tend to date women younger than them, while women tend to date men older than them. I’m just wondering how men feel about this. I’m 22 and I usually find myself dating or in relationships with men who are closer to 30. I personally don’t care at all, but was wondering how men would feel if they were in this situation.

Do you expect the same from the relationship, or do you take age into account? I’m thinking right now of splitting things financially (dates, etc? Most of the time, I’ll pay just as much and as often, but sometimes its hard on me. Yet I don’t like bringing it up because it just makes me sound young).

I’m finished with college, but not established in a career, and I probably won’t be for another few years. Also, when I get matched up online with men who list “sexually mature and knowledgeable/experienced” as a Must-Have, I’m left wondering if I’m supposed to be easy because at my age, that’s the only way I could gain the experience. Or, are they saying they would want me to be sexually mature, knowledgeable, and experienced for a 22-year-old?

I’m guessing that it doesn’t matter that much because if someone likes me then they like me, period… but opinions would be appreciated!

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6 thoughts on “Dating someone older?

  1. Matt Sanchelli says:

    [I know things are vastly different between a man dating an older woman and a woman dating an older man; but I’m sure there is some cross-over in there somewhere.

    When I was 24 I dated someone who was 33. For the most part we were on the same page in regards to what we wanted out of life, and relationships. Even at 24 I was very much a relationship oriented guy. I wanted to be in love and find that one person who would compliment my life. She was cute, fun to be around, we shared some interests, and….in the mind of a 24 year old…”I snagged a 33 year old hottie.”

    After the first few months of the relationship passed I began to see the things that pointed to things being very wrong. She never understood who I really was, what I liked and the type of person I wanted to be. Essentially, she was trying to “groom” me. For Christmas she bought me button up shirts and ties. What 24 year wants that type of gift from his girlfriend?

    The interesting things was that by the time I ended the relationship I knew completely that I was much more emotionally mature that she was.

    Age may just be a number, but maturity is not. Maturing has numerous variable that influence how a person grows.

    These men you are being paired up with that have sexual experience as a “Must Have”; to me don’t sound like they are mature, nor looking for any type of committed relationship. To me, it seems they are simply trying to feel young by trying to get some a$$ from a younger woman.

    To put it simply, regardless of age; whether you are the same age, a couple years apart, or nearly a decade apart, something that should always be “discussed” and made clear are each persons intentions.

  2. Brandon Sklar says:

    [I think what is most important is what point both people are in their lives and whether life priorities align well or not. I know some guys who are 30 that went back to college in their late 20’s. To me, those guys dating another girl who is also in college is not a problem even if there is a decade gap in age. You are thinking about going dutch on dates… What are they thinking about? Do they want to start a family any time soon? Do you? What do they want out of their romantic involvement with you (other than apparently a series of mind-blowing sexual experiences)? I am far away from being 30… but coming from a 20 year old I damn well hope that my priorities are vastly different in another ten years than they are now.

    Also, if you truly do not care at all about the age in the people you date… Why are all of them around the same age of 8 years your senior? Does it happen to be sheer coincidence that you only fall for these older males? Or is there perhaps something deeper at play?

  3. lilredbmw says:

    [When I was younger, I tended to date men older than me by at least a few years. I found these men who were 5-10 years older to have more in common with me. So, age is really only a number, while your level of maturity is what really counts. Also, where you happen to be in your life at the moment is a huge factor. If a man who is 30 and looking to settle down is dating a 22 year old who is not ready to settle down, then you have a problem. You both should be on the same page, if you will.

    As for the sexually mature/experienced. What is that about? Why are you dating people who are looking for someone sexually mature/experienced? To me that says they want someone who puts out. I could be wrong. It’s happened before. But dating someone who clearly is looking for someone who will put out easily doesn’t sound like a good road to go down. If you are NOT sexually mature/experienced at your age, I would say that’s a good thing. Keep it that way. Don’t date guys who list this quality as a “must have.” Because, in my book, they are not a person who should “have” you. Catch my drift?

    Dating a person who is older than you is really not a big deal as long as you two are in the same place in life. I would keep in mind that you might want to dig a little deeper when it comes to large age gaps. Sometimes the initial “newness” of a relationship can mask some of the things that are important to know about one another. With large age gaps you might just be cautious that you two could be at very different places in your lives.

  4. Solstice says:

    [As long as you’re on the same page with what you want out of the relationship, and what points you’re at in your life, then there’s nothing wrong with dating someone a few years older or younger. But if they’re looking to get married soon and you’re not interested in that, then try to look for guys closer in age to you who might not be thinking about such long term things.

  5. karlos says:

    [The rule I’ve always heard is for a man, half of your age, plus seven is the minimum age of girl you can date, it seems to work.

    Unless you age in Benjamin Button years, then it just causes problems.

  6. AKchic says:

    [Dating someone of a different age isn’t always a bad thing. It all depends on the guy. My 1st husband was 13 years older than me. Granted, that didn’t end well. I have dated other guys that were 10-20 years older than me, as well as one-nighters with guys older than that (please don’t do the math, you don’t want me to tell you how old I was at the time).

    Ultimately though, none of these guys I dated had the same goals in mind. They didn’t want the same things I did. Sure, I could have found someone within that age-range that did, but I didn’t actively search them out. I played the field equally and found someone a year older than me instead.

    My advice – if you want to date someone older than you, do so. Be prepared to get a lot of “trophy girl” comments and to be patronized. It always shocked people when they tried to relate to me on a “younger” level and I’d shut them down and ask them their opinions on the hot-topic issues and hold my own (or best them) in the discussion.
    Make sure you’re dating above your age for the right reasons. That the men are more mature and therefore, act more intelligently. Otherwise, you pick up the guys who are exploiting women with “Daddy Issues”. And you don’t want to be that.

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