How do you keep your relationship fresh?

How do you keep the spark going in your long term relationships? Married couples especially, what do you do to ensure that your partner feels appreciated and sexy? Flowers every week? Little love notes or presents?
What do you wish your partner would do to make you feel special?

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7 thoughts on “How do you keep your relationship fresh?

  1. Matt Sanchelli says:

    [Well, I don’t if my suggestions have much clout being I’ve been in my current relationship for only about 15 months so in a lot of cases I’m still a puppy.

    But if there is one thing that I do know, it’s romance. (thank you cliche 80’s flicks)

    One thing my girl and I do is leave each other little notes. Some times it’ll be on the bathroom mirror. Perhaps hidden in a book the other is reading. I’ll occasionally leave something on her car while she’s working. It’s evolved the longer we’ve been together. This is something I hope we do…well…forever.

    Here’s something I think I’d like for us to do as the years count by. Perhaps each month (maybe even every 2 depending on finances) we’d go out for a “fancy” date. Dress up. Go out. Dinner. Drinks. A show (live theatre, not a movie). It would be something we’d “save” for. Put away some cash every week so that when we do go out for these particular dates we wouldn’t be concerned over money.

    I’m curious what our married couples have to offer here too.

  2. Shelly says:

    [I’ve been married over 15 years, and in my opinion, the best thing you can do to keep your relationship fresh is to have frequent and adventurous sex. For too many couples, the sex goes downhill after they’ve been married a while, and for most couples, it changes (not for the better) after kids. If both partners place a high priority on pleasuring and being pleasured by each other, it’s going to have positive results in other aspects of their relationship. Additionally, keep sex positive – i.e. not have it be something that is manipulated by being given only as a reward or taken away as punishment.

    I also think it’s important to continue with the small gestures – telling one another frequently that you love one another, the little touches and caresses as you go about your day, thoughtful gestures for each other, listening and talking with one another, etc. Basically, if you’ve stopped all of those things you did at the beginning of the relationship when you first fell in love, start them again. For those who have been married a while and have kids, it helps tremendously to carve out special time to just be alone together and not focus on anything else except each other.

    It’s not as if any of this is difficult, but both need to make it a priority to keep the relationship fresh.

  3. Jasmine says:

    [Here’s my advice: bite your tounge. Save any conversations that could turn into heated discussions for the morning. Don’t pick 5 minutes before bedtime to criticize your love, cause you risk turning them off when you need to be turning them on!
    Ignore this advice if your partner loves make up sex.

  4. EricaSwagger says:

    [Just like Parker mentioned, my boyfriend and I leave each other notes. One time I came home to find post it notes in every room of my house, some hidden, some in the open, with little things like “I like you!” and “you have tiny ears!” written on them. Random, unexpected, cute. Start with that and the romance will come back.

    Also, you need to do stuff together. TV night is not doing stuff. Staying in and cooking dinner isn’t doing stuff, either. Go out to dinner once in a while. Run errands together. Go hiking, go to the lake, have friends over for a fire, go out to the bar occasionally. You don’t need to spend money on flowers or presents. Spend money on TIME together.

  5. Dave Jag says:

    [After giving this some thought, I honestly don’t think there is a single formula that fits all relationships. You gotta get the big stuff right ALWAYS. That is, be honest, loyal, devoted, trustworthy and respectful with your spouse at all times. If you screw that up, there’s no amount of flowers or love notes that is going to set things right! Other than that, the only universal thing I can imagine is just “Do things for each other.” And not crazy romantic things, but things that HAVE to get done, like laundry, cleaning, dishes, the kids homework, vacuuming, an oil change on the car, etc. This creates free time in their schedule that you can use however you want. NOW you can break out the silly romantic stuff if you want…. or just sit in front of a nice warm TV cuddled into each other. People in love really don’t need anything more than each other to have a great time. My point is, “time” is the greatest gift you can give someone. Sometimes that is time together, and sometimes it may be time apart. I’d personally love to come home to a note that read, “Honey, I took the kids to the mall. Could you please play your new X-Box game until we get back?” Relationships are as different and unique as the people who make them up, so you need only find the way to enjoy YOURS.

  6. AKchic says:

    [Well… there are a few things you can attempt to do.

    Date nights where you guys don’t do the “traditional” date. Instead of dinner and a movie, try a picnic and a hike. Take a bath/shower together. If you aren’t big on initiating sex – start doing that. Random sexual caresses during a tv show or while cooking can be fun.

    It doesn’t take much to be spontaneous. And sex isn’t the end-all be-all of a relationship. Quality time together is.

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