So you go out on a date and have quite a good time, but you aren’t attracted to the person. A couple of days later they ask you to go out again. The two of you have similar interests, they’re cool, and you would genuinely like to be friends with them. You’re not sure if they’re interested in you as just a friend also, or if they’re interested in something more. What do you do?
LemonVibe 
[So…I’ve gotta ask: are you male or female?
[Female. And, how would your response vary depending on the gender? 🙂
[If you want to be friends with a guy and they haven’t made romantic intentions clear, it’s ok to keep hanging out with them- but to make it very clear that you arent romantically interested in them, all hangouts must be devoid of romantic inclinations- no nice dinners, no walks on the beach, and you must always pay for your half. Don’t let them pay for anything. Don’t say I’ll get the tickets, you get the popcorn. Saying “I don’t want a relationship right now” tells the other person to just be patient and wear you down. Saying “I don’t find you attractive” is just mean, I mean really, who wants to hear that?? When they offer to pay for something just say “I don’t like to owe my friends money, so I would prefer to just pay myself. It’s easier that way.”
If he is clearly into you, then you probably don’t get to have them as your friend. Save yourself the drama!
If you like them but don’t fell a spark, give it some time- you may find yourself falling for them after all.
[I swear by When Harry Met Sally – no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. But if he’s already gone on dates with you, he probably thinks you’re cute. 🙂
[If you aren’t attracted, then you aren’t attracted. Nothing you can do about it. If that’s the case, then be upfront, honest and nice about it. If he doesn’t want to be just friends, that’s his choice. Some do, some don’t. Depends on the guy.
My general rule of thumb:
If I’m not repulsed, but don’t feel a spark I give it some time. Some people really are like a fine wine. If my gut says “run away!” then I don’t go on another date. If my mind starts making excuses, I tread carefully. If only I could remember doing that when I’m really attracted to the person 🙂
[It might work out that you two end up being friends. But, truthfully, if one person has feelings and the other doesn’t, a friendship might not be in the cards. Or, should I say, a true friendship. I won’t use myself as an example. I will use someone else I know. She is a beautiful girl and she loves to hang out with the guys. She is super-cool, loves to mountain bike, get dirty, and have fun. Sometimes her guy friendships turn in to a date and then she realizes she just wants to be friends. So she tells the guy and he agrees they can remain friends. And then they hang out and he hits on her. Happens every time. Every time. Now, if you went out and you both mutually decided that it wouldn’t work romantically, then a friendship could work. I’m just afraid that feelings aren’t able to just be shut off, so if one has feelings and the other is in the friend zone, well, that puts you on separate pages.
[Personally, if I was confident that I wasn’t interested in dating them, I wouldn’t accept another date. To me, if you’re not attracted to him, you’re not attracted to him, and that’s not truly going to change.
However, if I wanted to be friends with them, I’d offer to meet up with him, but use language to imply that it isn’t a date.
[Are you sure you’re not interested? Maybe you’re just not comfortable with the person yet? Sometimes you have to be comfortable with the person before you can see yourself in a relationship.
Or… A friend of mine always sabotages new relationships. She gets really into someone and then when they finally go out she starts finding excuses why it won’t work. I say it’s because she’s scared of what could be.
Either way, why not hang out again? At the very least, you have another enjoyable time with someone whom you share common interests. Or who knows, a second try could change your mind.
And if you try a second or third time (you have nothing to lose so why not) and still just want to be friends? All you have to say is “I’d like to keep hanging out as friends.” If he isn’t into the “as friends” part, then who needs him.