I’ve been reading about breakups (because I’m perverse), and a common theme seems to be how one person thinks everything is fine and is going happily about their business when suddenly their partner bushwhacks them with a breakup.
Now, the general consensus appears to be that the one who does the dumping has probably been thinking about it for a while and that’s why they can move on so quickly and easily, because they were emotionally detaching long before they ever thought to say it out loud. And most people seem okay with this. Like it’s just the way things are.
Does that strike anyone else as insidious? How do you do that? How do you sit there thinking about how it’s not working for you and maybe you want out while maintaining a facade of happiness for your oblivious partner? How cruel is that? How can anyone do that without drowning in guilt?
I get that, as human beings, one trait we all share is ferocious self-interest. That’s why there’s cheating, lying, etc. But it’s so dismaying to see that a lot of people think this is just how it is, that it’s okay to do this. I know we all like to hedge our bets, but deliberately concealing your true feelings from a significant other just to spare yourself some discomfort and personal responsibility seems so…cowardly. It leaves all the burden on the one being broken up with. The ex is left to deal with all the pain alone. And that seems just so unnecessarily callous.