When is ‘Snooping’ snooping??

I know Emily Rose blurbed about this not too long ago, and i just had a ‘oops’ moment, so i want to know what you think.
Babe and i are very open about our phones, accounts, etc. We share a computer, and since it is a mac it saves passwords, and those passwords are easily viewed. To add to that, we both have all of our account names/passwords written down in a book near the computer, for both of us (facebook, email, banks, shopping sites, etc). When i’ve been in the hospital, he has updated/checked my facebook, he has logged into my email to send me things (to get them on my phone) and i’ve taken off inappropriate posts for him on his facebook (a friend had looked up his criminal record, and posted the number of convictions he had. STUPID!) and i’ve checked his email to see status of packages. We dont hide things.

Yesterday i reset everything BUT passwords on our browser, and when i went to log into facebook it had defaulted to his. i didnt realize it at the time, so when i logged in and i had new messages i checked them. They were his (he uses it to see what events are happening more than anything and so people who KNOW him dont use it as a form of contact). An old one (he’d read it but it was from last october) was from an ex girlfriend who had treated him awful, who was just saying ‘Sorry, i see now i was wrong, i just needed to appologize’. I saw the name, and ‘snooped’. He never replied to her, so i’m not upset. And seeing he had a message from her in the first place was a complete accident. I dont feel wrong in what i did, and i’m not upset with him for not telling me, and since he didnt respond or friend her or anything, its not a big deal.

SO!
If you are open about accounts/phones/computers, and you check the other persons stuff (accidently like i did or at their request), and you see something and check into it further, is that snooping?? If you are open about those things, and check them out of curiosity but not out of concern or suspicion, is that snooping?? If you are not open, but accidently or at their request hop on, and see something and check further, is that snooping?? Or is it only when you arent open about things, and check them anyway without permission?? What do you think??

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8 thoughts on “When is ‘Snooping’ snooping??

  1. resullins says:

    [I have to disagree. If you’re willing to open the door, you can not be upset when someone walks through it. He opened the door, you both did. I don’t think it’s a big deal… and I think that only people with something to hide are the ones that get overly defensive about personal space.

    I also can’t really get behind the intention argument. An action is an action is an action. The law uses the word intent to define degrees of a crime, like murder or possession. And that’s not what where doing here… intent does not and will not dictate the line between crime versus not crime. Stealing is still punishable by law even if it’s accidental or to feed your family.

    I don’t know… I don’t think it was snooping…. it was curiosity, and while that definitely killed the cat, by our powers combined I’m pretty sure we’ll live.

  2. PKP says:

    [My wife and I are open about our various accounts like this. I don’t care if she looks and she doesn’t care if I do. We don’t bother checking up on one another though because in this age of internets it would be really easy to just make up an account the other person doesn’t know about. So what’s the point, right?

    Anyway, I don’t think it’s snooping since you’ve an understanding that accounts may be wide open at any time.

  3. Dave Jag says:

    [Nope… not snooping, simply because you had a pre-arrangement that gave you access to each other’s information. Neither you nor your significant other would agree to that arrangement if either had something to hide. The difference is simply “intent”. If you intentionally log into their accounts with the expectation of finding something, then you are definitely the king of snoopsville. Anything else is simply (as we say in football) incidental contact.
    That being said, snooping isn’t always bad. Sometimes we snoop on people just to make sure they are okay. If your girlfriend comes home smelling of Old Spice or your boyfriend has lipstick on his navel, then you have earned the right to snoop by virtue of protecting your own interests.
    As was eluded to earlier, “if you’re enjoying it, it’s probabaly snooping”. 🙂

  4. MitziM. says:

    [Did you get that giggly, butterflies in your tummy feeling? The one you get when you know you’re not supposed to be doing something, but you’re gonna anyway? If yes, then you snooped.

    Regardless of how open you are, personal things are still personal. Take it out of the internet context. There is a HUGE difference between “honey, something came for you in the mail from the water company. It didn’t look like a bill, so I went ahead and opened. Just junk.” and “Honey, a letter from a girl named Sally came for you today, I remembered your ex’s name was sally, so I went ahead and opened it to see what it was.”

    You see how that went from acceptable to snooping simply because it was a personal letter? There is no reason for you to be opening his personal mail except that you’re hoping to dig up dirt.
    You say you were ‘just curious’, but what about? Did you used to know this girl and wanted to see what was up with her? Did she have a koala in a top hat as her profile picture and you just had to see that full-size? Or did you think “this bitch better not be talking to my man, ooooo gurrll!!” and read the message to see what was going on with the two of them?

    I guess what I’m saying is it’s the intention that makes it snooping.

  5. Kelly says:

    [If your partner walked in and saw what you were doing would he be okay with it? If so, then I don’t think it’s snooping. If you don’t think he’d be okay or comfortable with it then anything you purposely read knowing that he’d be uncomfortable with it is snooping in my opinion.

  6. Happy Pants says:

    [I think in this case in particular, logging into Facebook was an accident, but looking at the messages was snooping. Then again, nothing came of it, not even any sort of negative emotion or jealousy, but I still think it was a little invasive.

    My general definition is that anything I find out about his private life that takes me concerted effort to find out is snooping. If his phone rings on the table and the name pops up for everyone to see? Not snooping. If his phone rings or he gets a text and asks me to answer? Not snooping. If he leaves his email open on the computer while he goes to shower and I look through it to see if his ex has contacted him? Snooping.

    Getting high in the LBC and going surfing afterwards? Not snooping. Getting high in the LBC and drinking gin and juice after lunch at Roscoe’s? Snooping. Wait, wrong Snoop…

  7. Dennis Hong says:

    [Snooping is snooping, unless you take away the “sn” and replace it with a “p.”

    Then, you’re just pooping.

  8. lilredbmw says:

    [If you attempted to look at something, that you know in your heart you shouldn’t be looking at, it’s snooping. If you stumbled upon something and it was in good faith, then it’s an accident, and no biggy.

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