Car Problems…

So, my boyfriend of about 8 months was driving my car (I was the passenger), and he backed into a (big, YELLOW, obvious) pole. There is only superficial damage, but it is still damaged. And it’s ugly. My sweet, oblivious, boyfriend apologized profusely, but has not offered to get it fixed. He makes a significantly larger salary than I, and I kind-of feel myself resenting him for not offering to get it fixed. Should I bring it up and ask him to fix it (or at least pay for half of it)? What would you do?

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8 thoughts on “Car Problems…

  1. Jasmine says:

    [Get a quote and tell him what the repair will cost. Hopefully he’ll just be cool about it. Be strong- hopefully he doesn’t end up being a jerk about it because then your car problems turn into relationship problems! Good luck!

  2. MargieCharles says:

    [I would definitely bring it up to him, for two reasons.

    1) You are going to resent him for this. You already do resent him for this, and it’s only just going to get worse. Resentment is not a good component of a relationship.

    2) It’s his fault, plain and simple. Unless you moved the pole behind the car when he wasn’t looking, the only way it is your fault that he backed into it is because you let him drive your car. It’s not like your car was rear ended while he was the driver, this was an entirely avoidable situation.

    But we don’t know what your boyfriend is thinking, and the only way you’ll know is if you talk to him about it. Maybe he thinks the damage isn’t a big deal since it’s only superficial damage, so it’s up to you to let him know that you would prefer he set things right. Of course, be gentle but firm when you bring it up to him. Let him know that you appreciate that he apologized for it, but that it’s been bothering you how your car’s value has decreased due to him backing into the pole and you’d really appreciate it if he would work with you to make it right.

  3. resullins says:

    [That’s horse-sh*t. You have to make him face up to this. Those kind of issues are always a problem in relationships, and they’re hard to bring up.

    But just go for it. He has the responsibility. And don’t let hm get away with half either. He did it, he should pay.

  4. Dennis Hong says:

    [Phew. For a second there, I thought LemonVibe had become a mechanic’s forum.

    Not that, uhhh, there’s anything wrong with car repair. Car, badass. Car repair, good.

    *scratches crotch and burps (like, in a really manly way)*

  5. Missy says:

    [Thanks, ladies. Not a super-easy discussion to have, but you are both right…it will just fester otherwise.

  6. Solstice says:

    [He definitely should pay for it. If I damaged my boyfriend’s car and didn’t pay for it, I’d feel incredibly guilty.

  7. Eleanor Roosevelt says:

    [I think you definitely need to bring it up with him, calmly and firmly. He should pay for it since he’s the one that caused the damage, but maybe there’s something going on in his life you don’t know about. Don’t let it fester – that doesn’t end well for anyone.

  8. theattack says:

    [This makes me wonder if he A) Thinks it’s not his fault because maybe you asked him to drive? (just a guess), B) He’s struggling for money right now and may be planning on helping but can’t right now, or C) He just assumes that you will assume he’ll pay for it when he can.

    It’s going to be tough to bring up, but if it’s been more than a couple of weeks, you should talk to him about it.

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